My thanks to my sister, Chris, for brightening my day by sending me this in an email.
Sex And Good Grammar
On his 74th birthday, a man got a gift certificate from his wife.
The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction.
After being persuaded, he drove to the reservation, handed his ticket to the medicine man, and wondered what he was in
for.
The old man handed a potion to him, and with a grip on his
shoulder, warned,
This is a powerful medicine. You take only a teaspoonful, and then say ‘1-2-3.’ When you do, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life, and you can perform as long as you want.
The man was encouraged. As he walked away, he turned and asked,
How do I stop the medicine from working?
Your partner must say ‘1-2-3-4,'” he responded, “but when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon.
He was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved,took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom.
When she came in, he took off his clothes and said,
1-2-3!
Immediately, he was the manliest of men.
His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes, and then she asked,
What was the > 1-2-3 for?
And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle.
Between 1941 and 1945 British warships escorted 78 convoys carrying thousands of aircraft, anti-aircraft guns, trucks and tanks, fuel, food, tools and other vital supplies through the Barents Sea to the Russian ports of Murmansk and Archangel in a voyage Winston Churchill described as ‘the worst journey in the world.’
The Foreign Office has blocked plans by the Russian government to honour Arctic Convoy veterans with a medal for valour.
Commander Eddie Grenfell at The Royal Naval War Memorial on Southsea Common Picture: Malcolm Wells (112873-1909) Ref The News
The convoys kept Russia supplied to keep fighting the Nazis on Germany’s eastern front, and have been credited with ensuring Hitler did not triumph.
But while the Ushakov medal has been handed to veterans from Australia, Canada and the United States for their role in the convoys, the British government is refusing to allow it to be given to British veterans.
Ushakov Medal
Apparently “rules are rules”
Under UK law, citizens are allowed to receive foreign medals and awards only if the British government gives them permission, and only if the award relates to the recipient’s activities within past five years.
A spokesman for the Foreign Office said: ‘The rules on the acceptance of foreign awards state that for permission to be given for an award to be accepted, there has to have been specific service to the country concerned and that service should have taken place within the previous five years.
‘Additionally, permission cannot be granted if they have received, or are expected to receive, a UK award for the same services.
‘All British Veterans of the Convoys were eligible for the World War Two Atlantic Star. Additionally, a lapel badge (the Arctic Emblem) was introduced in 2006 and some 10,000 have been issued.’
This unbelievable, bureaucracy gone mad and it is a slap in the face for the veterans.
It is time that the faceless civil servants in Whitehall woke up and its time that our government stopped dithering with regard to recognising the exploits of our servicemen.
How can there ever be a time limit on recognising the sacrifices our servicemen make.
For once I am in complete agreement with Mike Hancock. He said
‘It is absolutely ridiculous and shameless. This country can’t even give them the medal but we can stop them from getting a medal from the people they went to help. It’s an absolute disgrace on his (Hague’s) part and it’s a slur on this country.
It seems that our government can waive this rule when it suits them which makes this decision much more of a slap in the face for the arctic veterans.
Veterans of a conflict in Malaysia in the 1960s were allowed to wear the Pingat Jasa Malaysia Medal, given to them by the Malaysian government in recognition of their service.
Not only was that conflict 50 years ago, but the veterans of it had also previously been given a medal from the British government.
A spokesman for the Foreign and Commonwealth Office accepted the rules had been waived once, but said that it had to treat all World War Two veterans the same or else be faced with thousands of medal requests.
Seems all the civil servants are worried about is a sudden increase in their workload.
Despicable.
It is time to get a sense of perspective and give these folks the medal they deserve.
Felix Baumgartner has safely returned to earth having successfully ascended to over 128,000 feet.
He took around 10 minutes to return to earth and to enter the history books. Yet to be confirmed it is hoped that he will have set records for the highest manned balloon flight, the highest ever skydive and to have broken the sound barrier.
One other record he was hoping to beat was that set by Joe Kittenger for the longest free fall. Unfortunately Joe Kittenger has retained that honour by a just a few seconds.
Felix Baumgartner, I salute you. You have pushed the boundaries a little further out.
Today, weather permitting, Felix Baumgartner will make his second attempt to try to become the first man to break the sound barrier.
In free fall that is, from 120,00 feet or some 22 miles somewhere over New Mexico. This height puts him up in the earths stratosphere.
Not only will this jump set a new height record but it is hoped that Baumgartner will reach about 720 miles per hour and break the sound barrier.
To protect him during his jump Baumgartner will be wearing a special suit, similar to a space suit. This suit, which is pressurised, will provide oxygen, thermal protection, soak up any moisture that forms inside. And if the suit fails ? This is what Art Thompson, technical project director for the Red Bull Stratos Mission
“At that altitude, if the suit were to tear open — by any means — you’d start bleeding from the mouth,” . . . . “With that cold exposure, minus 60 degrees, your saliva starts to freeze up, you start oozing fluids from your eyes. The level of horror is straight out of a science fiction movie.”
The Telegraph is providing a live feed to this record attempt.
The girl who made this video, Amanda Todd, 15, was found dead at her home in Port Coquitlam, British Columbia, Canada, on Wednesday. She was a victim of bullying. Both of the cyber and the physical kind. Authorities believe her death was due to suicide following a prolonged bullying campaign.
It is with an immense feeling of sadness that I repost her video here. Thanks to Chris Jordan on whose blog I first read about Amanda
This young lady was systematically degraded, isolated and physically assaulted. I cannot comprehend the mentality of the people who hounded her so mercilessly. One can only hope that they have now seen Amanda’s video and that it is a wakeup call for them and for any others out there that have embarked on a similar path, who may already have someone in their sights.
My concern is that there are some sick individuals who will see Amanda’s death as a positive outcome.
Amanda’s mum Carol said she wanted the video to warn others of the dangers of cyber bullying.
She told the Vancouver Sun: “Amanda was a very caring individual. She would help others who needed help.
“One of Amanda’s goals was to get her message out there and have it used as a learning tool for others.”
WrAnTz 