Imagine if ‘Charivarius’, the author of this piece, had to get down with the kids and rewrite this and acknowledge that bad means good, that sick means good and so on and so forth.
Read on, I dare you ….
English As She Is Spoke !!!
Category: Believe It Or Not
If Only He Had A Brain Cell
So this man said he had travelled 100 miles, whilst under lockdown, ‘for a McDonald’s’
BBC News – Covid-19: Man said he had travelled 100 miles ‘for a McDonald’s’ https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-wiltshire-55695408
He travelled over 100 miles to a town that does not have a McDonald’s !!!
Not only that, police discovered there was no valid insurance in place. This meant his vehicle was not legally on the road.
As a result his car was confiscated.
The man was fined £200 for his “flagrant breach” of lockdown regulations, making an unnecessary journey away from his home area.
In addition to the loss of his vehicle, presumably he also incurred the cost of getting back home.
Had this guy had at least a single brain cell he would not have brought himself to the attention of the police.
He deserves the full weight of the law.
SWAT SQUAD
https://www.bbc.com/news/amp/world-europe-54051423?__twitter_impression=true&s=09
Was it all part of the flies master plan ?
Glad the guy is OK, but it did make me smile.
The Waterlooville Wally(s) Of The Week Award – Lidl
https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/7517927/lidl-gin-staff-call-police-couple-daughters/
‘VICTIMS OF STUPIDITY’
Lidl staff call police after middle-aged couple try to buy £12 rhubarb gin with daughters aged 11 and 14
I haven’t had cause to issue one of these for some time but this article really takes the biscuit. This ranks up with the story of the couple refused entry to their local cinema because their babe-in-arms was to young for the movie certification. It beggars belief.
So, to the Staff and Management of Lidl, Jointly I award you, “The Waterlooville Wally Of The Week Award”
UK citizens may soon need licenses to photograph some stuff they already own
This is just another example of the insidious bureaucracy that is blighting the UK.
If this is allowed to go ahead, every casual photographer will be at risk of being criminalised without their knowledge.
And, surely, the onus should be placed on the holder of any work of art to warn of their copyright entitlement. Will they be obliged to post warning notices. That will look nice on the lounge wall alongside your treasured Conran furniture.
“Family and Friends are reminded that under Copyright Law… Blah blah… the taking of photographs, family snaps etc. etc. are only allowed with the appropriate license”
Just how far will liability reach?
Consider the ubiquitous selfies, created on millions of smart phones, then promulgated via Instagram, Facebook and Twitter.
Do the owners of those apps then become liable?
This legislation should be dumped in the trash can. Or at least kept in a dark place until it has been seriously rethought.
If You Have The Bottle ……
I have just received this story by email. I don’t know if it is true but I do like the story, it has the requisite chortle factor …..
UPDATE: I just did a bit of digging on the interweb and discovered that this is a bit of an urban myth which has been around since about 2009.
32 Photos That Will Make Your Stomach Drop
Thanks to my nephew for posting the link on FB. I think it needs a broader audience.
32 Photos That Will Make Your Stomach Drop.
The Dark Side Of Paradise
A Maldives court just sentenced a 15-year-old rape survivor to 100 whip lashings.
It is hard to believe that, in this century, mediaeval barbarism still exists in our world. However, time and time again we are reminded that not all nations practice the same levels of tolerance and morality that we enjoy in the west.
Many times we have considered going to the Maldives for a holiday. This is certainly making me think again, but this time I am thinking about striking them off my wish list.
I received this in an email.
Dear friends,
It’s horrific! A Maldives court just sentenced a 15-year-old rape survivor to 100 whip lashings. By threatening Maldives politicians’ precious tourist income we can save this child and stop these outrageous public floggings. Let’s quickly build a one million strong call, then place ads in travel magazines and websites:
Sign the petition
It’s hard to believe, but a 15-year-old rape survivor has been sentenced to be whipped 100 times in public! Let’s put an end to this lunacy by hitting the Maldives government where it hurts: the tourism industry.The girl’s stepfather is accused of raping her for years and murdering the baby she bore. Now the court says she must be flogged for “sex outside marriage”! President Waheed of the Maldives is already feeling global pressure on this, and we can force him to save this girl and change the law to spare other victims this cruel fate. This is how we can end the War on Women – by standing up every time an outrage like this happens.
Tourism is the big earner for the Maldives elite, including government ministers. Let’s build a million-strong petition to President Waheed this week, then threaten the islands’ reputation through hard-hitting ads in travel magazines and online until he steps in to save her and abolish this outrageous law. Sign and forward this email now to get us to a million:
http://www.avaaz.org/en/maldives_global/?brpgHdb&v=23290
The Maldives is a paradise for tourists. But for women there, it can be hell. Under harsh interpretations of sharia law, women and children are routinely punished with flogging and house arrest if found guilty of extramarital sex or adultery. It’s nearly always the women who get punished, not the perpetrators. A staggering one in three women between ages 15 and 49 have suffered physical or sexual abuse — yet zero rapists were convicted in the past three years.
Winning this battle can help women everywhere, as the Maldives government is right now running for a top UN human rights position – on a platform of women’s rights! Global outrage has already forced President Waheed to appeal the sentence in the 15-year-old’s case. But that’s not enough. Extremists inside the country will force him to abandon further reforms if international attention fades. Let’s tell the Maldives that it stands to lose its reputation as a romantic tourist hot spot unless it changes its attitudes to and laws about women.
If enough of us raise our voices, we can get President Waheed and his MPs to face down the extremists. The president is already on the back foot over this shameful, tragic story – let’s seize this moment to prevent more horrifying injustices against girls and women. Sign the petition, then send this email widely:
http://www.avaaz.org/en/maldives_global/?brpgHdb&v=23290
Avaaz members have fought many battles in the global war on women. In Afghanistan, we helped protect a young woman who bravely spoke out about her horrific rape; in Honduras, we fought alongside local women against a law that would jail women using the morning-after pill. Let’s now protect the women of the Maldives.
With hope and determination,
Jeremy, Mary, Nick, Alex, Ricken, Laura, Michelle and the whole Avaaz team
MORE INFORMATION
Maldives girl to get 100 lashes for pre-marital sex (BBC)
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-21595814Maldives government to appeal flogging of rape victim (Dawn, Pakistan)
http://dawn.com/2013/03/01/maldives-government-to-appeal-flogging-of-rape-victim/Rape victims punished, failed by Maldives justice system (Minivan news, Maldives)
http://minivannews.com/society/raped-victims-punished-failed-by-law-in-the-maldives-53760Judicial statistics show 90 percent of those convicted for fornication are female (Minivan news, Maldives)
http://minivannews.com/politics/judicial-statistics-show-90-percent-of-those-convicted-for-fornication-are-female-44605
Scary Photo Shoot
Lets Talk Rubbish
The national pastime in the UK is DIY. Saturdays and Sundays are filled with painting, papering, sawing and chiseling. All of which creates waste.
Another favourite pastimes is gardening, pruning, raking and mowing. Again creating waste.
So that they can step back and admire the fruits of their labour, and to prevent the great British public from disappearing under a great pile of waste or going fly tipping and therefore breaking the law , the local authorities invented municipal waste centres.
The idea is that you take the your waste to one of these centres where your waste becomes their waste which they then dispose of in bulk. For the provision of these centres the British public pays the local authority via a part of the “Council Tax”.
Over the last year or so my son-in-law has been renovating, refurbishing, painting, decorating and generally improving his house. As you can imagine, in this time, he has created a substantial amount of waste.
I should point out that my son-in-law is a “Council Tax” payer.
Imagine then his surprise, when he was informed, by folks at his local municipal tip, that they limit the number of visits one can make.
How can this make sense ?
Local and central government are constantly complaining about fly tipping and then some jobs-worth introduces a limit on those of us who are trying to do the right thing.
As a result of this arbitrary limitation, at a stroke they will cause the increase of an individuals carbon footprint due to members of the British public touring the surrounds seeking a municipal tip from which they have not been excluded.
Failing which they may be forced to find alternative disposal sites.
In other words these idiots jobs-worths will force an increase in fly tipping which will cost the local authority more to clear up. Not forgetting, of course, the expense of hunting down the perpetrators.
Should I also mention the increase in traffic on our local roads along with the resultant increase in stress levels, brought about by Joe Public not being able to enjoy their freshly decorated lounge, newly installed kitchen……. lanscaped garden…….
