Yes, we had a full turkey roast with all the trimmings. We pulled crackers, put on our paper hats and read out the mottos, told corny jokes, played “Who am I?” And Charades.
Why ? You may ask.
Simply, Gerry and I were too ill on the run up to and thru Christmas and New Year.
We were supposed to go to my daughters for Christmas dinner, but it didn’t happen, and it was decided to defer to a later date. I made a chocolate bomb back in December. Since then, it has been languishing in our freezer. The bomb was delivered, and chocolate sauce made applied and duly devoured.
Chocolate Bomb
And that’s how we ended up celebrating Christmas in March.
We had a fine old time and returned home after five or so hours, feeling pleasantly plump.
From my cracker ….
JOKE
What did the Scarf say to the hat ?
I’ll hang around here, and you go on ahead !
QUESTION
A boy and a doctor went sailing. The boy is the doctors son, but the doctor is not the boys father. Who is the doctor ?
Yup, right now, I am listening to Summer Of ’69 by Bryan Adams.
Seems appropriate as the clocks changed last night as we moved into BST. The loss of one hours sleep means that it is officially Summer whilst in reality, nature still thinks it’s Spring.
Whilst there is an implicit sexual meaning behind Adams song, 1969 was a momentous year for events of interest on a global scale.
On a personal level, in May of 1969, I started my apprenticeship as a Fitter and Turner. Initially I spent two years based at the Flathouse Apprentice Training Centre, then completing my training in HM Dockyard, Portsmouth. To complete this course I had to leave home, move into digs some 90 miles from home.
The first-ever Concorde test flight took place March of 1969, conducted in France. It’s such a beautiful plane, but really noisy. When our pooch was still alive, every Sunday afternoon, we used to take him up on Butser Hill. We would see Concorde flying low on its descent into Heathrow. It’s such a shame it isn’t flying now.
July of 1969 saw the Apollo 11 landing on the moon. Astronauts Aldrin and Armstrong were on the moons’ surface for just under 22 hours, but theirs was a jaw-dropping achievement.
The Woodstock Music and Arts Fair took place in August of 1969. Nearly half a million people attended. Strange that it is referred to as Woodstock but actually took place about 40 miles away at Bethel.
On a darker note, 1969 was the year of the Manson Family murders. Named after cult leader Charles Manson. Five people were murdered by the cult, including a heavily pregnant Sharon Tate, wife of movie producer Roman Polanski.
President Richard Nixon announced the end of the Vietnam War in December 1969 and immediately began troop withdrawal. This proved to be somewhat premature as in April 1970, the war spilled over into Cambodia.
Thank you, Bryan Adams. Your song has acted as an historical trigger.
Oxford University researchers have discovered the densest element yet known to science.
The new element, Governmentium (symbol Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called pillocks.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.
A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration – this hypothetical quantity is referred to as a critical morass.
When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (symbol Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many pillocks but twice as many morons.
Everything is fair game as a subject for a laugh, and I can find humour in just about any situation.
I will laugh at jokes, be they one liners
I waited and stayed up all night and tried to figure out where the sun was. Then it dawned on me.
or shaggy dog stories
A tall, weather-worn cowboy walked into a saloon and ordered a beer. The regulars quietly observed the drifter through half-closed eyelids. No one spoke, but they all noticed that the stranger’s hat was made of brown wrapping paper. Less obvious was the fact that his shirt and vest were also made of paper. As were his chaps, pants, and even his boots, including the paper spurs. Truth be told, even the saddle, blanket, and bridle on his horse were made entirely of paper. The sheriff walks in, and of course, he arrests him immediately — for rustling.
Nothing gives me greater pleasure than sharing a “dad joke” or, in my case, “grandad joke” with my grandchildren, especially if it elicits a “Oh Grandad!!!” response accompanied by a groan.
What’s an owl’s favorite kind of dance? The hooooooola!
What’s a ballerina’s favourite numbers? Two-two!
To be fair, these usually trigger eye rolling from my wife and kids, too.
Also, I am not averse to a little schadenfreude
e.g. after a waiter treats you badly, you secretly enjoy seeing him trip and slop food on the floor
I am pretty sure my sense of humour has been developed due to exposure to my father, ex matelot, and policeman.
My dad had to deal with many incidents as a policeman, and at times, his humour was quite dark. I think most folks who work in emergency services develop dark humour as a form of protection. I think some of that rubbed off on me.
My sense of humour was further enhanced by my working life, initially as a Fitter & Turner in Pompey Dockyard working with like-minded colleagues as well as alongside more matelots on RN ships.
Matelots have a wide ranging, some might say, disrespecting humour. Brought about by the unique environment in which they work. Again, working alongside some of these guys has had an effect on me.
So, everything has a funny side, at sometime, you just need a warped mind like mine to see it.
And finally …..
1. Did you hear they arrested the devil? Yeah, they got him on possession.
2. What did one DNA say to the other DNA? “Do these genes make me look fat?”
3. My IQ test results came back. They were negative.
4. What do you get when you cross a polar bear with a seal? A polar bear.
5. Why can’t you trust an atom? Because they make up literally everything.
6. Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine.
7. What do you call a hippie’s wife? Mississippi.
8. What’s the difference between an outlaw and an in-law? Outlaws are wanted.
Follow the link below to see my previous thoughts on how little we think of the English patron saint compared to the patron saints of the other countries that make up the United Kingdom.
This year, my online calendar doesn’t even mention St. George’s day. And yet, staring me in the face are entries for St. Patrick and St. David both celebrated in the same month.
The people of this country do my head in. They get bent out of shape because Nike introduce a multi colour version for the England football strip, but seemingly ignore St. George, for whom the flag is a symbol.
And let’s not forget that the cross of St. George forms an integral part, if not the basis, of the Union Flag symbol of Great Britain, the United Kingdom.
I did a quick trawl of the interweb to find out what was happening in my area to celebrate St. George’s Day. Well, apparently, not much.
I found several instances referring to parades and services associated with Chichester Cathedral. Sadly, they were all for years gone by.
Also sad, if there is any truth in it, is this text
We do recognise St George’s day In England, although as a more multicultural society it is not observed by all. There is also an air or Political correctness that abounds in England today that the St George’s flag (white with Red Cross) is viewed by some as racist.
Racist !!! Where the hell did that come from ? The national flag of multicultural England is racist. More woke/BLM bullshit.
Similarly, another snippet
Observed on the 23rd of April each year, you’ll find parades and a range of celebratory activities popping up around England. Expect to see the symbol of St George (a flag with a red and white cross) everywhere, as well as people flooding the streets and local pubs, as well as church services.
At the grand old age of seventy-two, I can safely say that I have never seen a parade for St. George, nor people flooding the streets.
Most churches will hold services for St. George and some pubs will certainly put up some bunting and promote St. George, in the hope of drawing in a few more punters.
But, St. George is not embedded in our psyche. If we had a national holiday, then more people might sit up and take notice.
But that isn’t any more likely now than it was in 2011 when I lasted posted on this subject.
This was us, Gerry, me and a couple of friends out for a Fridays entertainment.
Honestly, we were in the stalls, somewhere just left of centre, three rows from the back.
The picture was taken at the very end of the show by Genesis Connected, a very competent tribute act.
I have been a Genesis fan since the early 70’s. In fact, the first time I saw them live, they were only 2nd or 3rd on the bill, still very much on the rise.
I followed them closely, seeing them live every time they visited Portsmouth. That is until Peter Gabriel departed.
After that, I found it very difficult to differentiate between Genesis with Phil Collins taking the lead vocals or a Phil Collins solo effort.
This new phase for Genesis saw the band transition from Prog-Rock to Pop-Rock, and my interest in Genesis waned.
Not having any prior knowledge of this act, I will admit to being a little disappointed during the first half of the show. I was expecting more offerings from Prog-Rock Genesis.
Where were tracks from Trespass, Nursery Cryme, Foxtrot, Selling England By The Pound, and The Lamb Lies Down On Broadway ?
Turns out that I was being a tad unfair. The image below tells why.
“Celebrating the hits ….”
Genesis didn’t start to have hits until they transitioned to Pop-Rock, although they did enter the UK charts with a track taken from Selling England By The Pound. I Know What I Like was a minor hit, reaching number 21 in April 1974.
Once I had rationalised what this band was about, I began to enjoy the show more.
We were treated to crowd pleasers such as Living Years and Cup Of Coffee from Mike and The Mechanics, Biko, Sledgehammer, and surprisingly Panopticom from Peter Gabriel, but for the most part, this was a Phil Collins love-in with songs such as In The Air Tonight, Easy Lover, Turn It On Again, Invisible Touch, Sussudio and more besides.
Genesis Connected had the audience singing along, clapping, and even dancing for the final song of the night.
All in all, it was a polished performance. I sang and clapped with the rest of the audience but when it was over I was left hankering for the Return Of The Giant, Hogweed, The Knife, Watcher Of The Skies, just a little more Prog-Rock.
Having said all that, I would go to see them again. I’ll just have to get my Prog-Rock fix elsewhere.
To a certain extent, he is correct. The Internet is a contributing factor but not the sole reason Waterlooville is in such a sorry state.
And, of course, 60’s architecture isn’t wholly to blame either. But, it doesn’t help to alleviate the sad, drab appearance of Waterlooville centre.
Bright sunshine goes a long way to enhance the appearance of the shop fronts. But despite the sunshine, what is notable is the lack of people. Just two people walking thru and nobody sitting at the tables outside the cafe.
Compare that view to the picture I took last week on a dull day.
Not a single person in sight and no amount of sunshine is going to improve this view.
A significant factor in Waterloovilles’ demise was the decision to divert the A3 and to pedestrianise the main thoroughfare and therefore removing passing trade.
Further planning decisions to allow the development of retail parks away from the town centre have further reduced the footfall needed to sustain the businesses that have disappeared over the years.
The diverted A3 subdivided Waterlooville, and with the retail park providing free parking, while the town centre car parks charged for the dubious pleasure, there was further incentive to stay away.
Blaming the Internet is too easy and distracts from the part that Havant Borough Council had to play in getting Waterlooville to its current state.
WrAnTz 