Paraprosdokians !


Didn’t know the word until recently but, apparently, Winston Churchill loved paraprosdokians, figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected.

So, try these on for size …

  1. Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.
  2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it’s still on my list.
  3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
  4. If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
  5. War does not determine who is right – only who is left.
  6. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
  7. They begin the evening news with ‘Good Evening,’ then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
  8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
  9. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out, I just wanted pay checks.
  10. In filling out an application, where it says, ‘In case of emergency, notify:’ I put “DOCTOR.”
  11. I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
  12. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street…with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
  13. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
  14. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
  15. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
  16. Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
  17. There’s a fine line between cuddling and…holding someone down so they can’t get away.
  18. I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure.
  19. You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
  20. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
  21. Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
  22. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
  23. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
  24. I’m supposed to respect my elders, but now it’s getting harder and harder for me to find one.

Blenheim Revisited – The Inside Story


About a year ago I posted about our visit to Blenheim Palace, about our picnic in the grounds and posted a few snapshots from that day. Well we have been back, specifically to view the inside.

So I present for your delectation a few snaps from Saturdays exploration.

Starting us off is the head of Winston Churchill, possibly England’s greatest Prime Minister.

The Great Man
The Great Man

Some of the youngsters out there may not realise that Winston Churchill was the inventor of one of their current favourite favourites, the”onesy”. Of course it wasn’t called that back in the day. I present for you the “SirenSuit”

Churchill's "onesy" or SIren Suit
Churhills “onesy” or SIren Suit

Invented during time of war, designed to be pulled on over your bedclothes and worn when you had to dash to the air raid shelter.

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Beautiful Dress

Below is the bedroom in which Churchill was born. Given the grandeur of Blenheim this room seems rather cosy by comparison.

Bedroom
Bedroom where Churchill was born

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Ornate Clock

frieze
Frieze – Just one small selection of many

ornate
This small section is just a sample and this image cannot do justice to the skill and craftsmanship that went into creating Blenheim

pipes
Organ Pipes – belonging to the Willis organ, at the north end of the Long Library. It was installed by the 8th Duke in 1891 and is the largest privately owned organ in Europe.

robes
A selection of ceremonial robes

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I’ve forgotten what this is, but it is impressive

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A Closer View

statue
One of many statues looking down on the Great Hall. Carved, I believe by Grinling Gibbons

tapestry
Tapestry

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Tapestry

Windows
Windows – Great Hall – Blenheim Palace

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Windows & Statues – Great Hall – Blenheim Palace

After touring the house we had a spot of lunch on the terrace, overlooking the water gardens.

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Lunch on the terrace – Water Gardens at Blenheim

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Water Gardens – Blenheim Palace

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Water Gardens – Blenheim Palace

As luck would have it, our visit to Blenheim coincided with a Mediaeval Tournament which was taking place in the grounds to the South of the palace. We strolled across the lawns, being buffeted by the quite strong winds that had blown up. The tournament was a jovial affair, presided over by King Henry

King Henry VIII - Jousting at Blenheim Palace
King Henry VIII – Jousting at Blenheim Palace

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Success – One ring captured

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A little more difficult this time. The ring was tossed into the air, rather than hanging from the pole.

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Acknowledging the applause

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Starting to the gallop

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Have at you sir !!!

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The Salute

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On my way !!!

missed
Missed

swordplay
A little bit of swordplay

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A dastardly knave sent packing

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Lap of Honour

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Lap of Honour

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Lap of Honour

After the excitement of the tournament we returned to the palace. New this year is ‘Blenheim Palace: The Untold Story’ an audio-visual trail through the history of Blenheim. It seemed a little disjointed at times but was very interesting although the theatre room left us a bit perplexed, not sure what they were trying to convey.

After a beautiful visit we set off for home but not before stopping at what is becoming a favourite of ours. The White Horse at Ampfield where we had a lovely meal. I would like to make a personal recommendation and that is, should you ever visit The White Horse, choose the Faggots. That is if they are on the menu. They are made by the butchers in the nearby village of Hursley. They are delicious and very filling.