Tag: grammar

Magistrate accused of damage to cars in Portsmouth !!!


Man faces magistrate accused of damage to cars in Portsmouth – Portsmouth News.

Good Grief !!!

This is the standard of journalism that is deemed acceptable in our local paper ……. ???

Man faces magistrate accused of damage to cars in Portsmouth

I saw this and immediately thought it was an article about a magistrate that had gone on a rampage and about the man that stood up to him.

Even the most basic word processor software has contextual and grammar checking alongside the standard spelling checkers. However, it seems that The News can’t afford to employ staff who can use it.

The following, pulled from the same article, is another example of the awkward phrasing that regularly appears in News articles.

Gavin Knight, 31, of Parade Court, Hilsea, denied to a magistrate damaging the vehicles in Wingfield Street, Turner Road and Watts Road, Portsmouth, on Saturday.

We regularly hear complaints, from employers, that our schools are not supplying new hire candidates with adequate standards of education. Isn’t it about time that our media mouth pieces set a decent example.

Grammar Lesson


My thanks to my sister, Chris, for brightening my day by sending me this in an email.

Sex And Good Grammar

On his 74th birthday, a man got a gift certificate from his wife.

The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction.

After being persuaded, he drove to the reservation, handed his ticket to the medicine man, and wondered what he was in
for.

The old man handed a potion to him, and with a grip on his
shoulder, warned,

This is a powerful medicine. You take only a teaspoonful, and then say ‘1-2-3.’
When you do, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life, and you can perform as long as you want.

The man was encouraged. As he walked away, he turned and asked,

How do I stop the medicine from working?

Your partner must say ‘1-2-3-4,'” he responded, “but when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon.

He was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved,took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom.

When she came in, he took off his clothes and said,

1-2-3!

Immediately, he was the manliest of men.

His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes, and then she asked,

What was the > 1-2-3 for?

And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle.

Enjoy