Day: March 31, 2024

Confused ?


Today, Easter Sunday, we celebrated Christmas !

Yes, we had a full turkey roast with all the trimmings. We pulled crackers, put on our paper hats and read out the mottos, told corny jokes, played “Who am I?” And Charades.

Why ? You may ask.

Simply, Gerry and I were too ill on the run up to and thru Christmas and New Year.

We were supposed to go to my daughters for Christmas dinner, but it didn’t happen, and it was decided to defer to a later date. I made a chocolate bomb back in December. Since then, it has been languishing in our freezer. The bomb was delivered, and chocolate sauce made applied and duly devoured.

Chocolate Bomb

And that’s how we ended up celebrating Christmas in March.

We had a fine old time and returned home after five or so hours, feeling pleasantly plump.

From my cracker ….

JOKE

What did the Scarf say to the hat ?

I’ll hang around here, and you go on ahead !

QUESTION

A boy and a doctor went sailing. The boy is the doctors son, but the doctor is not the boys father. Who is the doctor ?

Right Now #3


Yup, right now, I am listening to Summer Of ’69 by Bryan Adams.

Seems appropriate as the clocks changed last night as we moved into BST. The loss of one hours sleep means that it is officially Summer whilst in reality, nature still thinks it’s Spring.

Whilst there is an implicit sexual meaning behind Adams song, 1969 was a momentous year for events of interest on a global scale.

On a personal level, in May of 1969, I  started my apprenticeship as a Fitter and Turner. Initially I spent two years based at the Flathouse Apprentice Training Centre, then completing my training in HM Dockyard, Portsmouth. To complete this course I had to leave home, move into digs some 90 miles from home.

The first-ever Concorde test flight took place March of 1969, conducted in France. It’s such a beautiful plane, but really noisy. When our pooch was still alive, every Sunday afternoon, we used to take him up on Butser Hill. We would see Concorde flying low on its descent into Heathrow. It’s such a shame it isn’t flying now.

July of 1969 saw the Apollo 11 landing on the moon. Astronauts Aldrin and Armstrong were on the moons’ surface for just under 22 hours, but theirs was a jaw-dropping achievement.

The Woodstock Music and Arts Fair took place in August of 1969. Nearly half a million people attended. Strange that it is referred to as Woodstock but actually took place about 40 miles away at Bethel.

On a darker note, 1969 was the year of the Manson Family murders. Named after cult leader Charles Manson. Five people were murdered by the cult, including a heavily pregnant Sharon Tate, wife of movie producer Roman Polanski.

President Richard Nixon announced the end of the Vietnam War in December 1969 and immediately began troop withdrawal. This proved to be somewhat premature as in April 1970, the war spilled over into Cambodia.

Thank you, Bryan Adams. Your song has acted as an historical trigger.

How Dense ?


Oxford University researchers have discovered the densest element yet known to science.

The new element, Governmentium (symbol Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called pillocks.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration – this hypothetical quantity is referred to as a critical morass.

When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (symbol Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many pillocks but twice as many morons.