Author: siskinbob

Formerly employed by MOD and IBM, now retired

If I Could Have Dinner Anywhere…


enseigne du restaurant “Chez Clément”

Oh Wow. There have been so many good restaurants in so many cities. If I had to choose then I think the venue would have to be Chez Clement on the Avenue des Champs-Élysées. I would be dining with my wife and we would have a table in the main window area.. The time would be about now so that it would be a nice warm spring evening and the table would be open to the street with the Arc de Triomphe a short way off. A beautifully illuminated backdrop for a spot of people watching. The food would be irrelevent. We have eaten here with friends and last year we took my granddaughter to Paris and of course made a certain that we ate here again. They served her a fabulous chicken dish, presented in a very ornately arranged crepe. The food is always very good here. I would recommend a visit if you are ever in Paris….. http://www.chezclement.com/

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Would I Rather Be a Great Singer or Dancer?


In the early pearly morning…

Of the two I would prefer to be a great singer. To be able to emotionally move other folks just by singing has to be one of the greatest gifts one can receive. And no instruments required, other than the human voice. I know dancers can show emotion in their movement but I have yet to see a dancer that actually moved me to tears. On the other hand, I have become watery eyed on many occasions when listening to a really great song. Sometimes it will be the words that move me. Sometimes, it is the manner of the singing, which is why music and song transcend national/language boundaries.

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What I Can't Leave Home Without


The front door key. Because without it I can't get back in. More to the point neither can my wife. Typically I drive her to work so if I forget the front door key we are both locked out as her key is on the ring attached to her car keys. Sorry, is that too obvious.

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Will I Ever Go Back to School?


I actually enjoyed my latter years in school but to answer the question…… NO

No I won't be going back to school. I don't think I have the stamina. Just trying to keep my grandchildren in school is proving to be a momentous task. The schools in this area leave a lot to be desired and as a nation I believe we have lost focus, educationaly.

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View From The Conservatory


Spring is here with a vengeance. My neighbours fence is smothered with a delicate pink Clematis. The Apple Tree is full of blossom which is mixed with some form of Honeysuckle. My Flowering Cherry is also looking gorgeous and blousey. And lets not forget the various Primula plants dotting the back lawn which is bordered by many clumps of Grape Hyacinth

I think that what has really sealed it for me, is not so much the view from the conservatory, but the sounds. During the early mornings and throughout the day there is the constant bird song.

However, there is one sound which had us all confused for a while. We have a couple of horny hedgehogs who seem to have taken up position outside our bathroom every evening. Anyone familiar with these cute little beasts will know the repetitive grunting which I guess gives them the “hog” part of their name. Our latest visitors have added a high-pitched mewing sound. It must be the spines.

US broadcasters beg Buckingham Palace to keep the lights on – Hilarious


Already bored to death with the whole wedding thingy I am hereby breaking my vow not to comment on the event.

And why am I doing that ?

Because of the media brouhaha that is being generated by the realisation that Buck House will have turned of their lights just when some over paid presenter wants to stand in front to bore the folks at home…. i.e America, Australia, Canada etc etc.

It defies belief that these media loons would get so bent out of shape. Who’s country is it anyway.

Who cares if their over paid, over primped presenters don’t have a nice backdrop. Get over it……Yawn !!!

US broadcasters beg Buckingham Palace to keep the lights on – Telegraph.

A Few More Contentious Smiles


COWS

Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Appleby almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the county of Cumbria?
And, they even tracked her calves to their stalls.

But they are unable to locate 125,000 illegal immigrants wandering around our country.

Maybe we should give each of them a cow.

THE BRITISH CONSTITUTION

They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq … Why don’t we just give them ours?

It was drawn up by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for centuries and we’re not using it anymore.

THE 10 COMMANDMENTS

The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse or Parliament, is this – You cannot post ‘Thou Shalt  Not Steal’, ‘Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery’ and ‘Thou Shall Not Lie’ in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians…..It creates a hostile work environment.

Thanks again Sue.

Grumpies of the World Unite


Let’s put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home.

This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks. They’d receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs etc and they’d receive money instead of paying it out.

They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance. Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them. A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell.

They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose. They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counselling, pool and education.

Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ’s and legal aid would be free, on request. Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens. Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls.

There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.

The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised. Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week.  Live in a tiny room and pay £600.00 per week and have no hope of ever getting out.

Once again thanks to sister Sue for the smile.

Englands Economy – Problem Solved


Dear Mr. Cameron,
Please find below suggestions for fixing England’s economy.
Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.
You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:
There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.
Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

  1. They MUST retire.
    Ten million job openings – unemployment fixed
  2. They MUST buy a new British car.
    Ten million cars ordered – Car Industry fixed
  3. They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage
    Housing Crisis fixed
  4. They MUST send their kids to school/college/university –
    Crime rate fixed
  5. They MUST buy £100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week …..
    and there’s your money back in duty/tax etc
  6. Instead of stuffing around with the carbon emissions trading scheme that makes us pay for the major polluters, tell the greedy bastards to reduce their pollution emissions by 75% within 5 years or we shut them down.
    It can’t get any easier than that!

P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances

Thanks to sister Sue for forwarding this to me. Put a smile on my face.

Does The Highway Code Apply To The QA Site ?


Apparently Not, if you drive for Aqua Cars of Portsmouth !!!

Twice a day, Monday thru Friday, I visit the hospital site to drop off and pick up my wife who works there.

To get her to her workplace I enter the hospital grounds from Southwick Hill Road and have to pass the QA’s North Entrance. Between the hospitals North Car Park and the North Entrance there is a Pedestrian Crossing with the usual zig-zag markings. There are also designated drop off zones and a bus stop.

Pretty much without fail, on a daily basis, I encounter vehicles stopping between the zig-zag markings for the pedestrian crossing.  A high proportion of those vehicles belong to Aqua Cars whose “professional” drivers should know better.

I firmly believe that the layout of this area is just plain wrong. However, it is what it is so drivers should take care not to make this any more dangerous than it already is.

I wonder if there have been any accidents here ?

And just the other morning I was invited to “Piss Off” by a member of the public just because I had the temerity to point out their misuse of the crossing. And this after their small child had exited the vehicle on the offside i.e. The opposite side from its mother and directly in front of me.

These inconsiderate drivers are creating a blind spot on the crossing and don’t seem to care.

Anyway, I am going to write to the hospital administration and will also enquire of the police to see if this road falls within their jurisdiction.

And lastly, for now, just as I arrived on site for my afternoon pickup, there was a woman parked on the zig-zag lines of the crossing at the opposite end of this road. She was on my side of the road and facing me. Words fail me.

More on this later