At around 09:30, on a very drizzly Saturday morning, I was waiting on Copnor Road, Portsmouth. Waiting to turn into the car park associated with the Tesco petrol station. In actual fact I was waiting for two under dressed lads to walk across the entrance. Having parked up and entered the store, grabbed two cartons of milk I headed to the cash desk. The two lads had obviously turned about and they now cut off my approach to the cash desk.
Both lads were clasping bottles of water and were looking decidedly the worse for wear and somewhat bedraggled, having no jackets or coats. The conversation went something like this…..
Lad: (With embarrassed laugh) …”Where are we ?”
Me: “Wow, you must have had a great night.”
Lad: “Seriously, where are we ?”
Me: “You’re in Copnor”
Cashier: (Speaking slowly and clearly enunciating as if for a foreign visitor) “This….is…..Copnor…. Road” as he gestured outside.
Lad: “We are from Portsmouth, we know that Copnor is near North End”
Me: “(Thinking that North End is their destination and indicating the nearby cross-roads) “If you turn right at the lights that road will take you to North End”
Lad: “We don’t want to go there”
Me: “So where are you trying to get to ?”
Lad: “We live in Southsea”
The cashier and I gave directions and the two lads set off, once again, on their journey home.
Some questions spring to mind.
- Why did we pass up a golden opportunity to prank these guys ?
After all they had no idea where they were. We could have sent them north, out of the city. If we had they could still be walking.
- How can you live in Portsmouth yet not know where you are ?
Portsmouth is an island of only 15 square miles. Approximately 4 miles in length (North to South) by around 3 miles wide.
- Where was my invite to the party ?