Month: September 2011

Such A Waste


So the NHS computer system has been given the bullet. £12bn down the toilet.

I know some folks who were working on it since its inception. All said it would never work. It was too big and too complex to fly, another great British “white elephant”.

An Englishmans Home


So a burglar has died whilst “on the job”. Are we supposed to feel sorry for him ? After all, it appears that he, Raymond Jacob, was killed with his own knife. And his partner in crime did a runner. Now the burglary victim is under arrest, potentially for murder.
No way.
Jacob was intent on armed robbery and came off worst. No way should the homeowner be under threat of charges.
No doubt his, Jacobs, friends will all be saying how hard done by he was and what first rate bloke he was. Well shame he turned out to be such a second rate citizen and a crap burglar.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again.
Raymond Jacob jettisoned his rights when he embarked on this burglary.

View From The Balcony


September 25th 15:00 Update
I was hoping for some excitement earlier when a large motor yacht came in close to shore and anchored up. Shortly after a Guardia Civil patrol boat came in and anchored up close by. Wishful thinking was that a drug bust or perhaps a stolen boat was about to be recovered. I had my camera ready but nothing happened. The motor yacht has just left but the police are still moored off shore. Must have been out for a Sunday afternoon cruise.
Just watched Michael Schumacher turn his F1 car into a low flying aircraft. Thankfully he seems OK.
Also looks like we will be getting some more rain before too long as Cala en Bosc is disappearing into the murk once again.

September 25th 14:50 Update
We’ve had rain again and although it has stopped now it is still cloudy. Am watching the Singapore F1 but not really enjoying it. Don’t if it’s the race or just me.
September 25th 11:00 Update
Bev and Gord have taken Soph and Sam to the airport. They are supposed to depart just after 12:00 but we have just heard from Soph that their flight is delayed until nearly 18:00. There is nothing worse than having to kill time at an airport. However, Mahon is a small airport with not many facilities. I don’t envy them the next few hours.
September 25th 10:15 Update
Well we have had a varied couple of days.
On Friday we went exploring along the easter coast just north of Mao. First stop was at S’Albufera which is a nature park set around a large lake. There are various walks with hides and view points. Given the heat we opted for the 30 minute trail. For the twitchers out there this is a great place to visit. After completing the walk we loaded back into the car and headed off to find somewhere to get a drink. A short drive away is Es Grau, a pretty village clustered around the shoreline. Here we had lunch in a little restaurant with tales set out on the sandy beach under spreading trees. Sound idyllic doesn’t it. And it would have been if not for the sweet scent of dog poo gently wafting through. Still we stayed for cheese and ham toasties, chorizo bocadillo and fries washed down with cokes and beer. After our lunch we explored the village whereupon I chose my retirement residence. A delightful little rustic cottage right above the water (10 feet) with a balcony big enough for two. I can already see me and Gerry sat there watching the sun go down over the water while we sip our favourite tipple.
Anyway, that’s enough day dreaming. From here we drove to Port D’Addaia. This is the antithesis of Es Grau and in my view it is the tourist equivalent of a council housing estate. On one view point you can look across to Na Macaret which does still retain some of its original fishing village roots. After a short stop we’re headed back to Son Bou and a very welcome cup of tea. The evening meal was an ad hoc arrangement as all the fresh air and exploring had left us all too tired to go out again for a meal.
Saturday was an enforced rest day. Enforced by the weather. The morning started dull and cloudy and got steadily darker as the storm clouds advanced from Majorca. As the time moved on the rain got steadily harder and then the thunder and lightning came. Gerry and I sat on the lower balcony reading and watching the lightning. After a spot of lunch I swapped the pleasures of my book for a marathon Rummikub session with Sophie and Sam.
September 22nd 16:45 Update
The silhouette of Majorca is just visible on the horizon. Very hazy today. We have promised ourselves a trip over there some time in the future. Today has been a little odd as nobody has wanted to commit to any activity due to the fact that Julie has to leave for the airport. Three of us went into Alaior to stock up on supplies at the local Binipreu. I picked up some Sobrassada and a local Mahon cheese which will get some serious investigating later. Probably to be washed down with Menorcan Illa beer.
September 22nd 11:00 Update
I’ve been hoping spot the ever elusive heron down on the marsh land in front of the villa. Just when I have my head immersed in the latest “Chief Inspector Banks” five of them erupt from the reeds. They wheel around as if trying to make up their minds where to go, then all head west.
I guess the season is winding dow here. The numbers on the beach have noticeably diminished over the last week. There are only a dozen or so cars in the beach car park where normally there would a hundred or more.
The road sweepers have paid us a call this morning. Gave me a laugh as the guy was driving the motorised brush/vacuum vehicle. His partner, female, was walking along carrying the leaf blower. Between them creating quite a dust storm and in the interests of health and safety she was filtering the air she was breathing through a fag.
September 22nd 08:00 Update
Feeling a little sad today. Julie leaves us this afternoon and heads back to the UK and Merseyside. At least she will be able to get a bit more sun bathing in before she has to leave for the airport as her flight is not till late afternoon.
September 20th 14:30 Update
Feel like I’ve sung for my supper now. El Gordo and I have had a bit of a clear up. Well El Gordo has been doing hack and slash clearance while I have provided the labour to carry off the detritus. Just about everything here has spikes or prickles so you have to be so careful. The Bouganvillea has spines, the Palms have lethal points which pierce the palms of industrial gloves and the prickly pear (cactus) has an edge to its “leaves” making them as dangerous as a band saw. El Gordo told a passing couple that we didn’t get paid for this work, that we were doing community service because we had been “naughty”. Great thing here is that you can leave organic waste at the roadside and the authorities collect it, usually within 24 hours. No prior arrangement needed. Residents just contribute as part of the local community charges.
September 20th 11:00 Update
Gordon (El Gordo) and I have just strolled down to the bakery for the daily baguette and the papers. Mind you it’s more like a mountain hike to get back. I’ve no idea how many steps there are but my heart goes at 19 to the dozen.
The sun is just creeping into the pool area so Gerry and Jules have squeezed two sun beds into its rays. It’s going to be a long days sizzle.
September 19th 11:20 Update
Finally managed to sleep all night through after yesterdays storm cleared the air. Well until 06:30 this morning when I awoke to some kind of world music. Pan pipes, guitars and wild singing. I thought Sam and Sophie were awake in the next room and were watching a DVD. But no it was a bunch of guys partying in the beach carp park. Had the car doors open listening to the car radio. Six of them singing and doing some kind of Turkish or maybe Greek dancing. They weren’t doing anyone any harm, just that my ears and brain were not tuned to that kind of sound so early.
What a strange time to start a party. Anyway they left around 10:00 as the rest of Son Bou struggled into life.
The rest of the crew have travelled into Mahon whilst Jules and I are revelling in the peace and quiet.
I’m feeling rather jealous as I can see a fishing boat just off shore. Looks as if they have been successful as there must be around fifty gulls wheeling around the stern.
September 19th
Well here I am in Menorca. Have been here for six days. The predominant colour is blue. The sky has been bright blue for five of those six days. The sea has been many different shades of blue but has been flat calm and on occasions nearly mirror smooth. Lastly the tiles in the pool are a rich blue. Temperatures have been high thirties with the poolside thermometer registering 38degC at 18:15 one evening.
Until today Majorca has been fairly clearly visible on the horizon. On Tuesday we were treated to the most exquisite sunset which seemed to magnify the Majorcan silhouette.
Today started off like any other, full of promise, with sunshine and blues but rapidly changed to dark and menacing. This turned into a full blown thunder storm with fork lightening. Luckily we had taken shelter in the restaurant at Binimel-la where I was able watch the storm while tucking into Tortilla Espagna con Patata aka Spanish Omelette and Chips.
Which leads me on to the wonderful food that we have been sampling. Baby squid, Hake, spicy Sobrasada, Paella, local Pork Livers and so forth. All freshly cooked and beautifully presented. Local restaurant La Compostella does a nice line in “Hot Peppers”. These are whole mild green chillies, served piping hot. One serving is enough for six to share. Yummee !!!

Jessops Gift Vouchers – A New Form Of Highway Robbery


I’ll bet many of you have heard this around Christmas and Birthday time ………

“You are so difficult to buy presents for. I never know what to get you”

Being a fisherman I had always said just buy me hooks, swivels, lures and so forth. Not fancy or expensive but so necessary as those are the consumable items that every fisherman is always having to replace. Anyway a couple of years ago I had a sudden rush of blood to the head and suggested that my family buy me gift vouchers.

Not just any gift vouchers but, as I am an amateur photographer, “Jessops” gift vouchers.

Why ? Because, I thought, I would let my family contribute towards  a large expensive lense for my camera. Big mistake.

When it was too late I discovered that these gift vouchers have an expiry clause. Perhaps I shouldn’t call them vouchers as the old paper vouchers did not have an expiry date or clause. However, Jessops have entered the modern, digital age. They now have gift cards. They look a bit like a credit card. The important thing to note is Clause 4 of the T & Cs printed on the back of the Jessops Gift Card and I quote.

The card will expire 24 months after the last time it was used to make a purchase or top up the balance. Any remaining balance will be automatically deducted.

However, as the recipient of the gift card, you cannot determine the trigger date. i.e the date on which the card was activated. At least not without going to a Jessops store to make a purchase. You cannot go to their web site and enter the card number to determine the validity of the card or the balance remaining.

I have over the last couple of years been given 4 of these cards. At no time was I informed of the amount on the cards until my son-in-law informed me that when he and my daughter purchased the latest card they asked and were told that there was indeed an expiry date. As a result I went to Jessops to find out what balances I had on the cards and to perhaps make a purchase. I was informed that the older 3 cards had expired.

The staff in the store rang through to another store to see if there was anything that could be done and were told that I would have to contact customer services but since they dind’t work at weekends, this being Saturday, I would have to come back to the store on Monday. Which I duly did.

I stood around while the manager made a call and was duly informed that nothing could be done and that I should contact head office and the customer liaison. On my return home I called these folks and was given the party line.

“The card states 24 months inactivity and the card will expire”

“No we cannot transfer the value of the expired cards to your current and valid card”

“We are really sorry that your grandchildren are being ripped off but there really is nothing we can do”

I am now in the process of contacting Jessops through their various e-mail links but will be writing to the CEO.

In the meantime I am writing this as a warning to anyone who might already have a Jessops Gift Card or maybe considering purchasing one of them for a friend or family member.

JESSOPS GIFT CARDS DO EXPIRE AND JESSOPS WILL KEEP YOUR MONEY

View From The Conservatory


Wild and Wet

Yes it’s certainly wild out there today. The wind is buffeting the trees around. One moment they are virtually still and upright. The next they are,  without warning, bent rapidly towards the North East. This then followed by wild swirling about as if they are inside a huge food mixer. The conservatory roof is also joining in with the excitement.

Whenever the trees suddenly move, the roof pumps like a diaphragm, creaking and groaning. It gives the illusion of being on a sailing ship but with out the yawing and the rolling.

And wet it is too. It has been raining continuously since the small hours when I first awoke. Varying in intensity from drizzle thru to torrential and back again. All within a couple of minutes and without stopping.

Where do the birds go in this weather ? I haven’t seen a single feathered friend today. Not even a Wood Pigeon and they are usually sat up in the trees, looking like vultures,  waiting for some kind of food opportunity.

The squirls are probably tucked up in their nest too, riding out the storm. It must be dangerous for them. Can you imaging making a leap from one tree to the next just as a gust of wind shifts that branch you were planning to land on.

And as for the other regular visitors ? Well I’m guessing that next doors two black avengers, the cats, are tucked up nice and warm inside. I know they are not bothered by the wind but they do not like the wet.

Like them I am glad to be inside …..

Warm and Dry

Lets Legalise Assisted Suicide


It is reported today that Assisted Suicide is being introduced by stealth.

The reason for this suggestion is that nobody has been prosecuted in recent times for helping someone to die. In the last eighteen months,out of forty-four suspects, for thirty-one the decision has been made not to prosecute under rules introduced by the Director of Public Prosecutions.

Well I say brilliant, that’s good news. Bring it on.

It’s time that this government got its act together and took the next step. Lets formally introduced legislation to allow, in this country, the type of services that are provided by the Dignitas clinic in Zurich. There would have to be safe guards, that is obvious but lets remove the suggestion of criminality.

We are a nation of animal lovers and do not let our pets and farm animals suffer. We “put them down”. As a nation we are outraged when our animals are mistreated in any way.

Yet we do not, are not permitted to offer the same compassion to the “human animal”.

Instead we watch the terminally ill suffer, we prolong their misery with our drugs and our machines. I have seen this with my own eyes, experienced this with members of my own family. We tend to think of animals as dumb, that they do not know any better, do not understand and therefore it is better to let them die.

But think on. Because humans are the thinking being isn’t the enforced prolonging of life through the process of dying just a form of torture.

As a terminal illness progresses the patient quite often loses the ability to move, they can go through increasing levels of hypersensitivity and pain and more often than not they go through a total loss of ability to communicate.

The single act of “kindness” we offer is that the doctor or nurse can jack up the amount of morphine to a level where the patient is in a state of oblivion.

We like to spout off about preserving personal dignity. Where is the dignity in being taken to a drug induced vegetative state.

Legalise Assisted Suicide – Legalise Euthanasia

 

The press in this country are despicable.


The press in this country are despicable.

It doesn’t matter who you are or what your past is. As soon as you look like you are doing well for yourself, riding high, the press search long and hard to find the dirt. They delight in bringing you down.

Nathan Hageman committed a criminal act, went to court and was sentenced nearly 5 years ago. He’s done his time. Yet the Mail seems to think that his sentence wasn’t enough and that he should continue to pay for the crime for the rest of his life.

Yes it is awful what he did to another human being, regardless of whether that person was male of female. That doesn’t mean that he should be hounded and penalised for the rest of his life.

Maybe the press that we have in this country reflect the British psyche but I for one am sick of them.

My message to the press is

“Get off your fat arses, go out and do some real investigative journalism”

Red or Black liar could lose his £1m prize money: Real victim was his girlfriend | Mail Online.

Nick Helm’s password joke is Edinburgh Fringe funniest


Well I liked too so I thought it was worth repeating here

Nick won for the joke:

“I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.”

BBC News – Nick Helm’s password joke is Edinburgh Fringe funniest.

Time For A Smile


English is a Difficult Language to Learn

There is no egg in the eggplant,
No ham in the hamburger,
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.

English muffins were not invented in England,
and French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted.
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that:

  • Quicksand takes you down slowly;
  • Boxing rings are square;
  • The guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And what about the noun roots of verbs?

  • If writers write, how come fingers don’t fing?
  • If the plural of tooth is teeth, shouldn’t the plural of phone booth be phone beeth?
  • If the teacher taught, why didn’t the preacher praught?
  • If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat!?
  • Why do people recite at a play, yet play at a recital?
  • Or park on driveways and drive on parkways?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language:

  • Where a house can burn up… as it burns down
  • In which you fill in a form… by filling it out
  • Where an alarm is only heard once it goes off!

English was created by people, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (Which, of course, isn’t a race at all).

That is why when the stars are out they are visible…
But when the lights are out… they are invisible.

But I still can’t figure out why it is that when I wind up my watch, it starts… But when I wind up this discussion…It ends.

For more stuff like this try http://myhumor.org/default.asp