Tag: humour

Drinking during pregnancy increases likelihood of giving birth to X Factor fan


My worst fears have been confirmed. This explains why we have X Factor inflicted on us with such regularity. I wonder how early in the pregnancy you have to be absorbing alcohol. Given that many conceptions start as a result of excess alcohol is it possible that future X Factor fans are being determined at that time.

Drinking during pregnancy increases likelihood of giving birth to X Factor fan.

Grammar Lesson


My thanks to my sister, Chris, for brightening my day by sending me this in an email.

Sex And Good Grammar

On his 74th birthday, a man got a gift certificate from his wife.

The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction.

After being persuaded, he drove to the reservation, handed his ticket to the medicine man, and wondered what he was in
for.

The old man handed a potion to him, and with a grip on his
shoulder, warned,

This is a powerful medicine. You take only a teaspoonful, and then say ‘1-2-3.’
When you do, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life, and you can perform as long as you want.

The man was encouraged. As he walked away, he turned and asked,

How do I stop the medicine from working?

Your partner must say ‘1-2-3-4,'” he responded, “but when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon.

He was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved,took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom.

When she came in, he took off his clothes and said,

1-2-3!

Immediately, he was the manliest of men.

His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes, and then she asked,

What was the > 1-2-3 for?

And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle.

Enjoy