Tag: Bowel

Bobs Bowel 11


So here we all are, on the other side. I survived the procedure. I guess that I should apologise for leaving you all hanging. Since leaving hospital I have had a few things going on with friends and family. And, keeping a blog going does require a degree of concentration and effort. Of which I have had none.

My procedure, I am very pleased to say went well, took place on Monday 31st March. Originally estimated to take 4 – 4.5 hours, actually  took six hours. On regaining conciousness, in the recovery room,  I was given two pieces of news.

Firstly, that they, the surgical team, had taken more than was originally planned. Originally, I was supposed to be having a “left hemicolectomy” but in the end I had an “extended right hemicolectomy”.

Secondly, a bit of very welcome news, was that I did not have a stoma and therefore would not be having to deal with a colostomy bag.

The Hospital Stay

After a brief sojourn in the recovery room I was wheeled along to ICU to spend my first night in hospital. But before I could contemplate sleep I was given a full body bed bath. That was a first for me.

I was also starving, not having eaten since Sunday evening, the day before. But at this time I was restricted to clear fluids.

How noisy are hospitals ? Staff banging cupboard doors, clattering of trolleys and trays and let’s not forget talking at elevated levels. At one stage there was a guy strutting the length of the ward, and back again, speaking into a phone which he held away from his face.

Don’t they realise there are sick people in ICU, trying to rest and recover ?

1st April – Operation Day +1

At around 10:30 the staff in ICU got me out of bed, had me sitting in a chair and brought me stuff to have a wash. To be fair I didn’t stay in that chair for long. It was too upright, not very comfy, made my back ache and my tummy was a bit sore.

But there was a nice view away to the south and west looking out over Portchester, the Isle of Wight and down to Southampton Water. All with blue skies and sunshine.

Still no food, just clear fluids, black tea, black coffee,  water !!! and I’m starving.

Later, on the evening of the same day, they moved me out of ICU and shipped me off to the surgical ward. Sharing the ward with six other inmates and no view.

If I thought ICU was noisy, they had nothing on this ward. I couldn’t see what it was but there was something at the far end of the ward making a sound like a diesel truck on a fast idle. Thankfully after about thirty minutes it stopped. Rumour has it that the noise was from an air bed being inflated !!!

Apart from the noise, another issue I had was the temperature of the ward. On arrival I broke into a sweat and I know, when at home, I  break out at around 25°C. One of the nurses very kindly brought me a fan which improved things but, under cover of darkness, someone snuck in and turned it off.

How Rude!

2nd April – Operation Day +2

A nurse brought me a bowl of warm water for a wash and a change of gown. Ablutions completed I tried to put on the fresh gown which was way to small. When I flagged the size issue I was told that they had no gowns my size and offered me a “shirt”, i.e. an NHS pyjama jacket which was even smaller. The nurse said she would order a larger gown.

Order ? How long was that gonna take?

Anyway, thankfully, someone turned up with a large gown. I should point out that I did have my own pyjamas but due to the various tubes attached about my person there was no way I could get into them. At this time I was catheterised and also having a saline drip.

Time in hospital can pass very slowly. I had prepared for this by bringing in a book to read, also a book of crossword puzzles. I also had my phone on which I do soduku and read via Kindle. The problem was that I couldn’t focus on anything. In fact trying to focus took so much effort I kept dozing.

I had a very pleasant visit from my granddaughter in the morning and, later, my wife and daughter arrived to break up the afternoon.

At last, I was told I could have something to eat. My first meal for three days was a supper of chicken soup, yoghurt, jelly, and vanilla ice cream. Not very substantial but you would not believe how good that chicken soup tasted.

Throughout the day, with each and every visit from a nurse or doctor, I was constantly asked if I have moved my bowels, or if I  have broken wind. At this time my answers were all in the negative.

After supper I was asked what I wanted for brekky. Options were orange juice and/or yoghurt. I opted for the yoghurt.

3rd April – Operation Day +3

I had a visit from the surgeon.  Nice guy. He introduced himself and I promptly forgot his name. He said he wanted to try me on real food, with more substance. He also said they were planning to remove the catheter… yay!! Also, there was mention of the possibility of me going home, either today or tomorrow. This is all sounding good. All of this was discussed while he tapped, squeezed, and generally fondled my belly. Oh, I didn’t mention the gaggle of other medics, around half a dozen, gathered around the foot of my bed. Any privacy or dignity I had rapidly flew out the window.

I was given some of my own daily blood pressure meds. I’ve not had any since before the op. I was also given a dose of liquid paracetamol.  It is thick in texture, very sweet and it tastes of strawberries, Yuuukkk !!!

I don’t remember lunch but supper was Pea Soup with an awful bread roll.  Think the roll was made without any fat, it fell apart when I tried to cut it so that I could butter it. Tried eating it but it just clagged up my mouth. There was also an egg mayo sandwich. I only ate half as it was on some strange, strongly flavoured, malted bread, and again a weird texture. I tried dunking it in the soup but it didn’t help. Obviously my tastebuds had become confused. Hospital food isn’t really that bad. or is it?

During the day I have been getting an acidic feeling at the back of my throat, like indigestion. I mentioned this to a nurse who got me some Gaviscon. It helped a bit.

4th April – Operation Day +4

Bad news, I’ve been sick!! I was told that if I  am sick twice in the day I will be aspirated i.e. have a tube put up my nose and down into my stomach. This sounds unpleasant, and definitely something to be avoided.

Now they are taking bloods to see if I have an infection, and are concerned about the low volume pee. So, I definitely won’t be going home today.

Supper time arrives and I was feeling sick and requested another anti-sickness pill. Supper was chicken soup but I don’t recall eating it.

Even though I’m just drinking water it seems to be sitting high in my tummy. I’m not feeling comfortable at all.

5th April – Operation Day +5

So, I was sick during the night and as a result I was intubated. That was not a pleasant experience. As the tube goes in it causes you to retch and then once inserted you can feel the tube in your throat every time you swallow. The nurse siphoned out nearly a litre of dark green fluid. It appears that my vomiting is due to Ileus, a not uncommon post operative complication after abdominal surgery. In essence the bowel goes on strike

So now I have two bags hanging on the side of the bed. One for  my catheter and one for my nasal tube. I also have a saline drip attached to the cannula in my right arm. It’s almost like being at the centre of a spiders web.

While the tube is in I am nil by mouth,  just sips of water. So back to my starvation diet.

6th April – Operation Day +6

Due to all my attachments I had to call for the commode last night. And, whilst sat on the commode,  my nasal tube took it upon itself to sneak out and fall on the floor. I buzzed for the nurse who got a fresh tube and installed it which again caused me to retch and vomit. Just wonderful. That was at 03:00.

During the day they disconnected my nasal tube from its bag and told me I could go on free fluids. So I had an ice cold glass of milk, and boy did that hit the spot. The milk was, later,  followed by a cup of hot chocolate.

I was told that I can stay on free fluids but they will reconnect the tube to the bag at night time. Some good news, it was confirmed that Bovril is allowed under the free fluids plan so have asked Gerry to bring some in.

Bad news, the blood tests have shown some negative markers, and so, they think I might have developed an infection. Therefore, as a precaution, I have been moved to my own room. Bonus, I have my own window with a view and can open said window, so plenty of fresh air.

In the early evening I had a lovely video call  from my granddaughter and her kids. Jax, who is autistic, saw my nasal tube and immediately wanted to know what it was. We told him I was in hospital. His response was “go get Grandad, bring him home” Unseen by me, Jax trotted off downstairs, let himself out the front door and was trying to get into his mums car. Their dog, Milo, alerted my daughter and she caught him outside. Cute.

7th April – Operation Day +7

Thankfully the nasal tube has been removed and so, it appears, I’m back on the free fluids diet which is some kind of progress. Lunch today was tomato soup, orange jelly, and vanilla ice cream, bliss!!!

In the afternoon, friends, Eric, Mary, and Mo visited for a couple of hours. It was nice to have someone to talk to. Eric and Mary left after an hour which left Mo to entertain me. Unfortunate for Mo, she was soon treated to the sight of me sliding out of bed clutching the back of my gown, carrying my bag of urine (golden handbag) and shuffling across the corridor to the loo. She took it all in good heart.

Todays supper treat was mushroom soup, more jelly, and ice cream. The soup was, once again, very tasty.

After Mo’s departure and having nothing better to do, I read the ingredient list for the orange jelly. Shock, horror, there is no orange in it. There is carotene, I assume that’s for the colour. I had thought that the flavour was a little odd, now I know why.

8th April – Operation Day +8

Finally, I got a decent night’s sleep, the first since the surgery. Also, my tummy is feeling less bloated which, I guess, means some of the gas used during the operation is beginning to dissipate.

Brekky today was rice crispies, orange juice, toast, and marmalade. Actually, to call it toast was a bit of an exaggeration. I think the slice of bread had seen a photo of a toaster but not actually been in one. Still, after being starved and then only getting liquids to eat this was definitely a step up and in the right direction.

After breakfast I was asked to select my lunch, so I chose Beef Lasagne,  scallop potatoes and gravy. More solids … yes!!!

The lasagne was blooming marvellous although, surprisingly, I had to confirm that it was beef, to me it tasted like the best herby pork sausage. So that has triggered the idea that I will try making a lasagne with italian pork sausage meat, when I get home.

I also had a bit of a revelation today. I had a shower, my first since prior to my surgery, and I was so pleased to get my hair washed. The whole shower thing was a bit weird as I still had the catheter in place and so I had to take my golden handbag along with me. But sitting on the provided stool and just letting the water flow over me was superb.

I also had lots of visitors today, so it was a good job that I had that shower … lol.

Todays supper was Lancashire hotpot with extra mash. The hotpot was very nice but the mash was very dry. And, I  didn’t get the recommended extra gravy I requested. However, I did get two Vanilla ice creams. They really are very nice, smooth and creamy.

Finally, my catheter has been removed but, unfortunately, I haven’t pee’d since. So I was given an ultrasound of the bladder and, apparently, there wasn’t much pee in there so retention isn’t an issue. Bottom line, I have to up my fluid intake, then if I don’t pee they will catheterise me again. And we don’t want that.

With the catheter gone I am now in my jim jams which are much more comfortable than those horrible hospital gowns. And finally, at around 21:00, the dam burst and I managed a pee. This was followed by several others during the night. All were captured so the nurses could check the volume and, apparently, all is good.

9th April – Operation Day +9

Hallelujah, the surgeon has told me that I can go home, shook my hand and wished me well. I asked a nurse what the discharge procedure was. I was told that getting meds from the pharmacy was usually the thing that dictated when I could go, but that I should expect late afternoon or evening.

Shortly after this the ward sister came to see me, told me my meds had been requested and the indications were that they would be available sooner, rather than later. She told me to order lunch just in case it actually was later. In fact meds and lunch arrived together. I was told to have lunch and then the discharge process could be completed.

Wow, lunch was a celebration. Roast turkey breast, roast potatoes, sprouts, carrots, and, wait for it, banana stuffing!!!! Who ever heard of banana stuffing? Certainly not me, and it wasn’t for my palate.  Apparently, it is a carribean thing.

Anyway, food eaten, sister returned with my meds, my discharge papers and one last bit of education. New news to me was that I was going to have to inject myself with an anticoagulant.  She had a syringe and rolled up pad to simulate my tummy. I was directed in the correct use. The two carrier bags of meds contained, primarily, several boxes of preloaded syringes. I am to inject myself twice daily, for thirty days.

So, formalities completed, the porter arrived and I was soon loaded into a wheel chair and propelled to the main exit where my son-in-law was waiting to drive me home.

And there we have it. My hospital experiences around my robotic laparoscopic right side hemicolonectomy.

Bobs Bowel 8 – Bloods


Whilst I don’t yet have a date for my surgery, the NHS is keeping me on my toes. I recently had to make a trip to the hospital to hand over some more of my blood.

I knew they would want to check to see if the iron infusion had done the trick. So I already had that appointment in my calendar.

However, a telephone call out of the blue informed me that they wanted more blood. Apparently they needed to check my liver function and also to ensure that my blood is clotting correctly.

Over the last few weeks I have had so many needles inserted I beginning to think I’m in an episode of Hancocks Half Hour, namely the Blood Donor.

Bobs Bowel 4 – NHS Healthcare


After years of paying National Insurance there is no doubt I am getting my moneys worth from the NHS. After playing the poo sticks game I have had a Colonoscopy, CT Colonography, a session with a colo-rectal consultant and have been booked in to Surgery School.

My home phone seems like it is a hot line to the QA (Queen Alexandra Hospital).

Following the consult I received a text message informing me that a call had been booked by the Care Coordinator !!! No explanation of why. Obviously I could make a pretty goood guess. But I still had to confirm back to them that a call before midday on the 31st was acceptible. I also took the opportunity to ask what the call was about. The response was almost instantaneous. Lisa, the Care Coordinator from my GP Surgery, having seen various letters between the hospital and my GP, was making a courtesy call to see how I was doing with the ongoing investigations.

So Friday 31st arrived and it turns out that Lisa had very little information. I have since seen the letters that my GP was sent. Not very enlightening. So I brought Lisa up to speed, giving my history so far, up to and including my consult on Tuesday.

She in turn told me about the services that were available to me leading up to the surgery and what support they can provide after I return home. This includes councelling, assistance with obtaining benefits etc. After a very pleasant chat we agreed that she would call me on 28th February to see how I was going. Hopefully I will be home recuperating after the operation.

As I said my phone has been very busy. On Friday morning I missed a call from Julie, one of the colo-rectal nurses. She left a message inviting me to call her back. I returned her call and retaliated by leaving her a message in her voicemail. After one round of answer phone tennis she called me.

She asked if I had heard from the anaesthetist, which I had not. She told me that they had spotted that I was borderline anaemic and that I needed to be scheduled in for an iron infusion/transfusion!

Two weeks ago, the doctor that did my colonoscopy had told me about this. I had forgotten but I am glad that the anaesthetist is on the ball. Julie told me that I should probably expect to be contacted early next week, and that if I didn’t hear from them by Wednesday, to call her.

Later that day I received one of those neutral NHS appointment invitations. Informing me that an appointment has been made for 10:00 on Thursday 13th of February. What is this for? Is it for my iron infusion, or just a face to face with the anaesthetist? There is no information about what if anything I need to take with me. Nurse Julie told me I should arrange a lift for when I have the infusion just in case I’m not fit to drive after. There is nothing in this invite to clarify so I will have to call them on Monday.

One thing I will say for the NHS, once you are in the system they do look after you. So far, I have nothing but praise for the staff that I have been involved with. With the one exception, the CT Colonography, they have ensured that my experience thus far has been reasonably pleasant.

Bobs Bowel 3 – The Consultant & More


Tuesday 28th January, and my first meeting with the consultant. It was quite intense and a bit of a good news, bad news scenario.

First up the bad news, the results of the biopsies taken during the colonoscopy  confirm that the tumour is cancerous. I guess I was expecting that and was already resigned to the fact that surgery was required. Confirming the cancer was just detail.

On to the good news. The results of the CTC show that the cancer seems to be contained within the colon and hasn’t spread elsewhere. Apparently, there are a couple of polyps but nothing to be concerned about at this time. Some time after the surgery, I will likely have a colonoscopy, and the polyps will be dealt with then.

I was told that I should get a surgery date within the next three weeks. The surgery itself will be of the keyhole variety. The consultant ran through some of the issues / risks. Obviously, all surgery comes with risks. It is invasive, and the body wasn’t designed for easy access. In my case, proximity to the spleen was of concern.

Given that my tumour is causing a partial blockage, surgery is the only option. It is what it is.

Prior to that, it seems they have a lot of fun activities planned for me, so I will be visiting the Queen Alexandra Hospital …. a lot.

I have already been booked into surgery school.  This two hour classroom session is on Monday, 3rd January, to be held at the Oasis Centre. The purpose of the class is to prepare the patient, me, for the surgery and after. To tell about the process, the time on the high dependency ward, and preparation for going home and what to expect in the time following the procedure.

Another treat will be a session with the stoma nurse. Although it isn’t planned, the surgeons won’t know until they go in and may decide that a stoma is necessary. This may be temporary to allow my bowel to heal or, worst case scenario, permanent if they can’t repair the bowel. Apparently, all bowel surgery patients are taken through this possibility and the ramifications.

Finally, there will be a consultation with the anaesthetist. If they can glean enough information from my notes, then it should be just a telephone consult. Otherwise, a further trip to the QA will be required.

Once I have had the operation, I can expect to be in the hospital for about a week or so. Escape will be dependent on my how fast my bowel starts to function. I was told that some patients have gone home after three days, but typically, it is a five day stay.

The things I’m prepared to do to get out of cooking and housework.

And then it’s on to recovery, i.e. back to normality. Again, everyone’s different, but they were talking three to six months.

I’m coming to realise that this is a big operation. Nobody has actually vocalised this fact, but I’m picking up on the odd words that were dropped by the consultant and one of the colo-rectal nurses.

I have no idea if there will be any after treatment, i.e., chemo or radio therapy. This was not mentioned, and I forgot to ask, but perhaps that is a discussion for after the operation, when they know what they are dealing with.

In the meantime, I have been having a lot of discussions with Gerry about preparing for my time in the hospital and immediately after. These are non medical in nature.

Gerrys mobility is OK around the house, but she can’t stand for long. So preparing meals for herself could be problematic. There are a number of companies that make and deliver ready meals so we are considering getting some to put in the freezer. Gerry should be able to manage those.

Of course, after I return home, my capabilities are a bit of an unknown quantity at this time. There are likely to be restrictions on lifting and carrying. Simple things like lifting a kettle to make a cuppa may not be allowed.

I won’t be allowed to drive for a while, and although Gerry still has her licence, she hasn’t driven for a couple of years. So we are going to have to rely on family to provide taxi services for any appointments etc..

Sadly, this bloody tumour is causing a lot of disruption, impacting others’ lives too.

At the back end of February we have tickets for two concerts. The first is for Uriah Heep, a band that I started following in the 70’s. This concert is part of a 50th Anniversary and farewell tour. Missing that will be a bit of a blow.

The other concert is for Brit Floyd, a Pink Floyd tribute band. We got tickets to this show as a Christmas present for Summer,  our great-granddaughter. She is always saying how she likes Pink Floyd, so we thought a tribute band was the nearest she would get to the real thing.

We are already trying to arrange for others to take the tickets

Two further events are possibly in jeopardy.  The Goodwood Members Meeting in April, which usually entails a whole day on my feet. And then there is an Andre Rieu concert at Wembley in May. We will just have to see how my recovery goes.

That’s it for now.

Bobs Bowel 2


Previous Posts On This Subject

The NHS Poo Sticks game, Colonoscopy, and Bobs Bowel.

I have become obsessed with bowel movements, or rather the lack of them.

After my CTC I restarted taking a laxative, Molaxole, but this was proving to be non productive. As well as the laxative I have also resumed eating normal foods, not the low residue diet, which is remeniscent of baby food.

The lack of bowel movements over the last few days, and the constant feeling that I just ate a full Christmas roast is troubling. The indications are that my tumour is severely restricting the flow in my digestive system.

And that is definitely not good news.

I have been consulting Dr Google, which is not always a good thing. But, in this case the concensus seems to be that, if my tubes are truly blocked, then continuing with the laxative can be counter productive.

Regardless of biopsy results I think it is imperative that the tumour is removed and tout de suite.

As I have been typing this post, and after several fruitless trips to the bathroom, I have finally had success. The fullness that I have been feeling is easing so I think I will carry on with the laxative for the time being. Based on my recent past experience, my bowel seems slow to react. So I have taken another dose of Molaxole and will drink plenty of fluids.

Tomorrow, I will contact the Colorectal Unit for some advice but regardless, I am seeing a consultant on Tuesday with whom there will be a full and frank discussion.

So, I am off now, to make a mug of Bovril.

Stay tuned….

Bobs Bowel


A few days ago, I posted about the NHS Poo Sticks game. There then followed a visit to the hospital for a Colonoscopy which led to my cancer diagnosis.

Apparently my tumour is positioned up at the top right corner in the diagram, where the transverse colon joins the descending colon.

Of course, that is not the end of the saga. We are only just getting started.

Shortly after the colonoscopy, at the meeting with the doctor along with the bad news I was given an appointment date for a meeting with the consultant. That is scheduled for 28th January.

After being discharged I headed home to find that the hospital had already been on the phone. I returned their call and was informed that they had an appoinment for me to attend the hospital again. This time for a CT colonography (CTC). Lucky me. I was scheduled in for Tuesday 21st at 08:30.

That was the good news. The bad news was that I had to go back on the low residue diet. OK, it was only for two days this time, starting on Sunday. On the Monday before the CTC, I was to start taking a liquid laxative. Two doses, one at 08:00 and the other at 18:00. No food after that time, just clear fluids until after the CTC.

The liquid laxative, Gastrografin, also contains a dye (contrast medium) that contains iodine and it helps to clearly show the colon on the scan.

Once again my imagination ran riot but reality was a lot simpler. I was expecting to spend the day on the loo, but after a brief eruption in the morning, I suffered nothing until the following morning. Even after the second dose.

Tuesday morning arrived soon enough and I took myself of to the hospital. No sooner had I arrived in the reception area than I was called through. Given a hospital gown to change into and told to take a seat in a waiting area.

I was then called through to have a cannula fitted. This was needed for the dye that they would inject during the scan. After a brief wait I was shown into the scanner room. I have had CT scans before so my anxiety levels were really low. And so it was up onto the scanning table where the unpleasantness started.

Firstly I was asked to lay on my side with my knees up towards my chin. Once in position a tube was inserted into my back passage. This was for the gas that they were going to use to inflate my colon.

As the gas flowed, so my discomfort increased. Initially there was the sensation of my abdomen bloating. This was soon accompanied by stomach cramps which grew in intensity. I was asked to lay on my back and I was threaded through the eye of the donut.

The discomfort was increasing.

They then injected the dye and we played thread the donut again. After a couple of passes I was asked to turn on my side.

Still the discomfort was building. So much so that I was muttering to myself. Something along the lines of “enough already”, “get me off this thing”, “please make it stop”. You get the picture.

After a couple more passes through the donut they came in to put me out of my misery. The gas pipe was extracted and I was led out of the scanning room, across the corridor and shown to a toilet.

It was there that the process of decompression began. It was also there that I got changed into my street clothes. I then went and sat in a waiting area but it wasn’t long before I headed back to the decompression chamber, and then back to the waiting area.

After a short wait I was invited into a small room where my cannula was removed, and then I was discharged.

Over the last few years I have undergone numerous procedures. But this was by far the worst. I have had CT scans before but the added gas takes them to a whole new level. Definitely an experience that I am not keen to repeat.

I am not Jumping Jack Flash and it definitely was not a Gas, Gas, Gas.

Now, I am eating a relatively normal diet but to ensure that my bowel doesn’t become completely blocked I have been prescribed a different laxative, Molaxole. This I have to drink twice a day. It doesn’t taste nasty but it isn’t pleasant. I have to add some orange squash to make it more palatable.

Yuukkk!

So, now I have to wait until Tuesday and the appointment with the consultant.

I’ll be in touch…..

Colonoscopy Day


After a week of a Low Residue Diet, a day of fasting, and a day supplemented by laxatives, the dreaded day had arrived. (See my previous Poo Sticks post)

My appointment at the hospital was scheduled for 10:00. By 10:45, I was sitting in a small office with a nurse. I gave my medical history. Then the nurse showed me to a room where I could change into my hospital gear.

It was there that I was provided with the standard hospital gown, open at the back. I was also introduced to my “dignity pants”. These are made out of some kind of paper, very loose and with a trapdoor at the rear, for easy access.

Over all this I put on my dressing gown and slippers. Obviously I was the epitome of sartorial elegance. And so, suitably attired, I was collected and led down several long corridors. Up several floors to the theatre suite.

Why are the reception/changing areas always so far away from the treatment rooms ?

Anyway, on arrival, I was fitted with a cannular and had my obs recorded.

After a short wait I was loaded onto a trolley in preparation for entering the theatre. There was a further short delay as they cleaned the room, after the previous patient had been evicted.

Showtime !

I was wheeled into a small room packed with people and equipment. Well, three nurses, me, and eventually the doctor. Very snug.

I was asked to roll on my side and a muscle relaxant, sedative and pain suppressant were administered. Being on my side allowed me to watch the whole procedure. I viewed it on the same screen that the doctor was using.

As the camera traveled along my colon, I was thinking this is like Indiana Jones riding a mining cart along a tunnel. Laid out before me were the pink walls of my colon. I was impressed with how well I had cleaned up, thanks to the Picolax. As we trundled along in my cart, me riding shotgun with the doctor, we rounded a bend only to be confronted by …… what was that ? A rock fall, a cave in …. what ?

I spoke out loud, “Oh that doesn’t look good!”. Nobody responded to me, which was perhaps quite telling.

At this point the doctor started taking photos, biopsies and leaving markers (tattoos). And then the mining cart started the return journey and the procedure was over.

There was very little discomfort in fact my imagination blew everything out of proportion. I found being able to see what the doctor was seeing very interesting. I have since heard from friends and family that have experienced a colonoscopy. They all have no knowledge / memory of the procedure as they were all knocked out. I was told that I would be sedated and my records show that I had fentanyl. But, I didn’t experience any softening of mental focus. I am guessing that I was only given a minimal dosage.

I was wheeled out to the recovery room where I was given a cup of coffee and some biscuits. That was the best coffee ever ! Being my first proper drink since around midnight, twelve hours before. Just before I went to bed.

After a repeated series of obs, I was allowed to dress. The nurses and I then headed down to the discharge waiting room. But after more that half an hour nobody came to see me. So, I went off to find someone. A very helpful young lady in scrubs dispatched a nurse to find out where my doctor had gotten to.

It transpires that he was up to his elbows in another patient. I was transferred to another waiting area, with comfy seats. Being the only one in there, I should have realised that this was the bad news room. The doctor arrived, with back up.

The doctor was supported by one of the Bowel Cancer Screening nurses and a nurse from the Colorectal unit.

The doctor then proceeded to tell me what they had found and the next steps.

Firstly, he is pretty sure I have Colon Cancer. Confirmation will come from the biopsies they too during the procedure. Apparently they took eight samples. I was watching but didn’t count.

The “rock fall” was in fact the cancer / tumour / growth and it prevented the doctor from completing the procedure. The camera could not get past the growth so not all of the colon was examined.

The doctor seemed pretty positive. Given the position of the growth, it should be operable. I might get away with keyhole surgery. And, most importantly to me, I might not have to have a bag. However he went to great pains to stress that none of that is guaranteed.

To determine what is going on further upstream, I am scheduled for a CT Scan. I already have an appointment to see a consultant the following Tuesday.

By then he will have the biopsy and scan results and should be better placed to formulate a battle plan.

So, onward and upwards. Stay tuned …..

Poo Sticks – Updated


No, not the children’s game immortalised in the Winnie The Pooh stories.

I am referring to the game played by adults of a certain age. The NHS initiates this game. As part of their Bowel Screening Programme they send a package through the post requesting a sample of your poo. You then return it to them and they analyse it.

I’ve played this game with them for several years. Presumably, I was winning because I never heard back from them. No news is good news, right!

That continued until late last year when I was invited to a telephone consultation.

They had discovered some traces of “non visible blood.” The net of that hour long conversation was their decision to offer me a colonoscopy. I say offer because it was left open for me to decline the procedure.

What sort of cretin would I have to be to decline ?

You are 73 years old. Your body is wearing out. When the professionals are concerned enough to contact you, it’s only polite to accept.

And so an appointment was made for a colonoscopy and a package duly arrived in the post. Said package contained several pages of information about the procedure. It also included a blow by blow script for the preceding seven days and three sachets of Picolax.

It seems, understandably, that before a colonoscopy the medics like you to clear your tubes. So, for seven days I had to follow a “low residue/low fibre diet”. That is to say I had to cut out all foods containing fibres which are hard to digest. This helps reduce the amount of undigested food passing into my large bowel.

Adhering to this diet presents extra challenges when preparing meals. Those bad boy fibres are really sneaky, popping up when you least expect them. Also many of them are contained in favourite five a day fruits and vegetables.

For example you can eat potatoes but not the skins. You can eat pretty much any root vegetable, like carrot, swede, and turnip. Just make sure they are peeled and well cooked. They should be soft enough to mash. No peas, beans, citrus fruit or berries etc. and no seeds or grains. Even onions are a no-no. The list is endless.

Over the last few days I have become a nervous food prepper/eater. I was preparing some bell peppers for dinner only to find that they are not allowed. Similarly, on Sunday I was holding a glass of red wine when I decided to consult Dr. Google. Nope, red wine is not allowed, in fact turns out I should be avoiding alcohol in general.

Yes, you can make tasty meals acceptable for a low residue diet. However, they lack texture. They are also missing key ingredients to take the flavour to the max.

And so, here I am, having completed the low residue diet. Looking forward to my colonoscopy tomorrow. To be honest I am actually looking forward to eating real food tomorrow night. Just one more hurdle to cross, well two actually.

Hurdle number one is that today, 24 hours before my procedure, I am not allowed to eat anything. I can only consume clear liquids. These include water, squash, coke, lemonade, black tea/coffee, clear soup, marmite/bovril/oxo mixed into weak drinks with hot water. By this time tomorrow I will so hungry you may find me gnawing on a table leg

Hurdle number two, you may remember that earlier I mentioned Picolax. Picolax is a laxative and I have to consume three doses. The first was at 08:30 this morning. The next dose is scheduled for 12:30 and the last to be taken at 18:30.

Having read the instructions the only thing at the forefront of my mind is “Make sure you are close to a toilet”

Oh well, I suppose it’s all for the best.

Stay tuned.

Today, January 15th, was colonoscopy day.