I Thought You Needed A Smile


This was recently sent to me so I decided to share …….

In  case you needed further  proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some  actual label instructions on consumer  goods.

  1. On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert  (printed on bottom) — “Do  not turn upside down.”
    (well… a  bit late?)
  2. On  Sainsbury’s peanuts —  “Warning:   contains nuts.”
    (talk about a news  flash)
  3. On Boot’s Children Cough  Medicine — “Do  not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this  medication.”
    (We could do a lot to reduce the  rate of construction accidents if  we could just get those 5  year-olds with head-colds off those  bulldozers.)
  4. On  Marks &Spencer  Bread Pudding —  “Product will be hot after  heating.”
    (….and you   thought??.)
  5. On a Sears hairdryer — Do not use while  sleeping.
    (That’s the only time I  have to work on my  hair.)
  6. On a bag of Doritos — You  could  be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details  inside.
    (the shoplifter special?)
  7. On a bar of Dial soap — “Directions:  Use like  regular soap.”
    (and that would   be?)
  8. On some Swanson frozen dinners — “Serving  suggestion:  Defrost.”
    (but, it’s just a   suggestion.)
  9. On packaging for a Rowenta iron  — “Do  not  iron clothes on body.”
    (but wouldn’t this save  me  time?)
  10. On Nytol Sleep Aid — “Warning:   May cause drowsiness.”
    (..I’m taking this  because?)
  11. On  most brands of  Christmas lights — “For  indoor or outdoor use  only.”
    (as  opposed to  what?)
  12. On a Japanese food processor — “Not to be used  for the other use.”
    (now, somebody out  there,  help me on this. I’m a bit  curious.)
  13. On an American Airlines packet  of nuts — “Instructions:  Open packet,  eat nuts.”
    (Step 3: say  what?)
  14. On a child’s Superman  costume — “Wearing of this garment does not  enable you to fly.”
    (I don’t blame the company. I  blame the parents and legislators for this one.)
  15. On a Swedish chainsaw — “Do not attempt  to stop chain with your hands or genitals.”
    (Oh my God..was there a  lot  of this happening somewhere?)

And one last thought ….

Blessed are the cracked: for  it is they who let in the  light

Hasn’t He Gone Yet ?


I thought he had gone.

Why is it taking so long to get Julian Assange , King of Wikileaks, exported ?

I squawked about his extradition back in February and he is still here.

Waterlooville – Before The Planners Took The Heart Out OF The Town Centre


This is Waterlooville, the town where I live, as it used to be. The photo is dated around the 50s or 60s. In 1985 the local planners deemed it to be a good idea to pedestrianize this road. The heart and soul of the town has all but dried up. All of the original stores  have long gone and other than the banks, few of the major chains are interested in coming here. Despite the additional 2500 homes soon to be built to the west of the town.

The A3 has been diverted around the town centre and now serves to separate the town into two unique shopping areas. Current plans underway will only serve to further divide the town. Already Waitrose have stated that the opening of the new Sainsbury’s store will probably drive them and their small store  out of the town.

Within the last year or so it was decided that the tired shopping centre was in need of a makeover, what was required was nice pastel shades and in addition some strange artistic shapes were introduced. The end result, to my mind, would have been considered modern back when this photo was taken.

Now, Waterlooville seems to be moving to a cafe culture with numerous coffee shops, cafes and very soon Wetherspoons will be opening the third pub. ALthough I think that is something of a mixed blessing since it is opening almost next door to the Heroes. It remains to be seen if the Heroes can compete with the Wetherspoons business model.

In the meantime the stores that would encourage passing trade for the food/drink establishments are slowly dying a death.

Don’t misread my intentions. I am not against change. What I am bemoaning, is what I believe to be mistakes by the planners. Yes the A3 needed to be diverted to resolve the traffic problems but was it necessary to take away the passing trade. The old road could have had traffic calming to prevent it becoming a rat run and still allowed folks to access the shops. However, the way it was done and the subsequent planning decisions regarding the Retail Park and the Wilkinson/Waitrose area have served only to destroy the heart of the town. The dual carriageway separates the town centre from the retail park. The Wilkinson/Waitrose area seems like a separate shopping centre with its back to Waterlooville. The proposed new  Sainsbury’s soon to be built at the western end of the Retail Park is just going to drag shoppers away from the town centre especially with the addition of a new petrol station. It remains to be seen how this will all pan out.

Personally I don’t hold out much hope for Waterlooville Town Centre.

Road in different eras – Remember When – The News.

Great South Run – Congratulations


I just wanted to say congratulations to all those brave souls who participated in the BUPA Great South Run on Sunday.

While I was reclining in the warmth of my living room, watching the Indian F1, several thousand hardy bods were facing the damp and windy conditions of Southsea seafront.

In particular I want to say well done to my next door neighbour, Gordon, who took part for the first time this year. He finished in a very respectable 94 mins and 27 seconds.

To all the runners, regardless of the reason for your participation,

CONGRATULATIONS & WELL DONE

Man is seriously injured in air gun shooting at Southsea house


Perhaps the mystery here isn’t the circumstances of the shooting, rather the venue chosen for the injured mans treatment.

Man is seriously injured in air gun shooting at Southsea house – Law and Order – The News.

Having read this article I am gobsmacked.

How does it make sense to send this man all the way to Southampton when we have an Emergency Department at the QA in Cosham ?

That is, he was sent to Southampton General Hospital, a journey of some 20 miles. This was deemed to be better for the patient, who had life threatening injuries, than going to A&E at the Queen Alexandra Hospital, Cosham.  A journey of around 5 miles.

I can only imagine that the huge hospital on Portsdown Hill, the one with A & E and the emergency helipad recently installed on the roof of the new building, doesn’t work over the weekend. Or is it perhaps the migration of medical skills from Portsmouth to Southampton now includes our local emergency care.

It beggars belief.

Footloose – Great Entertainment


Last night a group of us were treated to a fabulous show when Stage One presented Dean Pitchfords Footloose at Ferneham Hall.
As we have come to expect from the Stage One team the show was spilling over with energy. The kids in the cast positively glow with their enthusiasm.
Stand out performances for me were from Chris Hutton as the tense teen Ren McCormack, Matt Fisher as “slow” country boy Willard Hewitt, Luke Collins as the mean, moody and thoroughly dislikeable Chuck Cranston. For the girls it has to be Gilly Williams as the restrained and repressed Vi Moore, Ellie Jones as the disillusioned Ariel Moore and Connie Powell as Rusty.
Highlight of the evening and certainly the most emotive scene was when Vi Moore and Rens mother Ethel (Katie Winter) sing Learning To Be Silent.
The grand finale with the whole cast partying away with the title song had everyones feet tapping.

Once again Stage One have given a first class performance. I am looking forward, with anticipation, to their next production, Fiddler On The Roof.

Sir James Wilson Vincent “Jimmy” Savile OBE KCSG – RIP


  • Celebrity

  • Personality

  • Sportsman

  • DJ

  • Philanthropist

  • Radio and TV Presenter

  • Honorary Royal Marine “Green Beret”

He was all of those things and he was an icon.

For many years he was a fixture on british radio and television. His lasting legacy will be the charitable works that he was always heavily involved with in particular at Stoke Mandeville Hospital.

We will miss your larger than life character ….

Goodbye Sir Jimmy

EU and Britain: Majority of British public want powers back from Brussels


EU and Britain: Majority of British public want powers back from Brussels | Mail Online.

Of course we do. The EUrocrats have been abusing their power for too long. Lets not forget the extortionate expensese that they claim while working for our benefit !!!

The theory behind the EU is great. The intent was to make life easier for folks who had to do business across the many borders that make up the european continent. However the reality is far from the ideal.

Year on year we have had petty rules laid down and the only fools that actually try to abide are us Brits. Prosecuting our own people for not abiding by stupid laws that common sense would have negated.

So yes, it is time to stand up and Fight for Britain, Prime Minister!

Well Done Hampshire Constabulary


The press are only too keen to do down the police and it would seem in this instance the Southern Daily Echo got it totally wrong.

Article from Southern Daily Echo

Follow the link below to see the Hampshire Constabulary response. Just once in a while it would be nice to see the press in this country provide praise for the police instead of doing them down at every opportunity.

They do a very difficult job and sneering articles like that published by the Southern Daily Echo do nobody any good.
Hampshire Constabulary: Hampshire Constabulary response to ‘End of the week’ opinion piece in the Southern Daily Echo.