Category: Humour

Be Careful Out There Gentlemen


Older Men Scam

Women often receive warnings about protecting themselves at the shopping centres and in dark car parks, etc. This is the first warning I have seen for men. I wanted to pass it on in case you haven’t heard about it.

A ‘heads up’ for those men who may be regular B&Q, Wickes, HomeBase, or even Asda customers. This one caught me totally by  surprise. Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be  quite traumatic. Don’t be naive enough to think it couldn’t happen to you or your friends.

Here’s how the scam works:

Two seriously good-looking, college-aged girls will come over to your car or van as you are packing your shopping into your vehicle. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windolene, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. (It’s impossible not to look). When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say ‘No’ but instead ask for a lift to McDonald’s.

You agree and they climb into the vehicle. On the way, they start  undressing. Then one of them starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet.

I had my wallet stolen Sep. 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, 24th, & 29th. Also Jum. 1st & 4th, twice on the 8th, 16th, 23rd,  26th & 28th, three times last Monday and very likely again this upcoming weekend.

So tell your friends to be careful. What a horrible way to take  advantage of us older men. Warn your friends to be vigilant.

Asda has wallets on sale for £2.99 each. I found even cheaper ones for £0.99 at Poundland and bought them out of stock in three of their stores. Also, you never will get to eat at McDonald’s.

I’ve already lost 11 pounds just running back and forth from B&Q’s, to Wickes, Homebase, Etc.

So please, send this on to all the older men that you know and warn them to be on the lookout for this scam. (The best times are just before lunch and around 4:30 in the afternoon.)

RED BULL GIVES YOU WHINGES


I make no apology for copying the following selection from Planet-F1’s current pages.  And yes the title of this post is a direct steal too.

It put a smile on my face hopefully it will put one on yours.

The whole page can be read at planet_f1.com

RED BULL GIVES YOU WHINGES
Angry Austrian Dr Helmut (Skid) Marko has said that if anyone it’s Mark Webber who the team seems to be favouring. The Red Bull motorsport advisor is said to be particularly incensed at the Silverstone incident because it detracts from the Red Bull catchphrase – Red Bull Gives You Other Drivers’ Wings.
In an interview with AutoSprint this week he suggested that conspiracy theorists would think that the team actually favoured Webber not his German team-mate. “If I was Vettel then I would have suspected the opposite. Which car has permanently had something damaged?” ranted (full-face) Helmut. “Did Mark have the defective spark plug in Bahrain, the loose wheel in Australia, the broken brake disc in Barcelona, the defective chassis in Monte Carlo, the transmission problems in Montreal and now the broken wing at Silverstone?”
Suggesting that there might have been sabotage within the team at the opening race of the season is a pretty extreme view, however Mark Webber has now had clear-the-air talks with team boss Christian Horner and they have agreed a way forward. He is going to change his name to Willi.

My Resume


  1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, But I got canned. I couldn’t concentrate.
  2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe.
  3. After that, I tried being a Tailor, but wasn’t suited for it — mainly because it was a sew-sew job.
  4. Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting.
  5. Then,  I tried being a Chef–figured it would add a little spice to my life, but just didn’t have the thyme.
  6. Next, I attempted being a Deli Worker, but any way I sliced it.. I couldn’t cut the mustard.
  7. My best job was a Musician, but eventually found I wasn’t noteworthy.
  8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but didn’t have any patience.
  9. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. I tried hard but just didn’t fit in.
  10. I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered I couldn’t live on my net income.
  11. Managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining.
  12. So then I got a job in a Workout Center, but they said I wasn’t fit for the job.
  13. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a Historian – until I realized there was no future in it.
  14. My last job was working in Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was the same old grind.
  15. So, I tried Retirement and found …. I’M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!