WINTER FUEL ALLOWANCE
About this time of the year, “older taxpayers” will again be receiving
another ‘Winter Fuel’ payment.
This is indeed a very exciting programme and I’ll explain it by using
a Q & A format:
Q.What is a ‘Winter Fuel’ payment?
A.It is money the government will send to taxpayers.
Q.Where will the government get this money?
Q.So, the government is giving me back my own money?
A.Only a smidgen of it.
Q.What is the purpose of this payment?
A.The plan is for you to use the money to purchase gas and electricity…or perhaps high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn’t that stimulating the economy of China ?
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the UK economy by
spending your ‘Winter Fuel’ cheque wisely:
*If you spend the money at ASDA or Tesco, the money will go to China ,
Taiwan or Sri Lanka.
*If you spend it on petrol your money will go to the Arabs
*If you purchase a computer it will go to India , Taiwan or China
*If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico , Honduras
and Guatemala .
*If you buy an efficient car it will go to Japan or Korea .
*If you purchase useless stuff it will go to Taiwan .
*If you pay off your credit cards or buy shares, it will go to
management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.
Instead, keep the money in the UK by:
1). Spending it at car boot sales. 2).Going to night clubs. 3). Spending it on prostitutes.
4). Buying beer or whiskey. 5). Getting yourself a tattoo. 6). Visiting a bookie.
(These are the only UK businesses still operating in the U.K. )
Conclusion: Be patriotic! Go to a night club with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a car boot sale and drink beer day and night !
No need to thank me…I’m just glad I could be of help.