Tag: Picolax

Colonoscopy Day


After a week of a Low Residue Diet, a day of fasting, and a day supplemented by laxatives, the dreaded day had arrived. (See my previous Poo Sticks post)

My appointment at the hospital was scheduled for 10:00. By 10:45, I was sitting in a small office with a nurse. I gave my medical history. Then the nurse showed me to a room where I could change into my hospital gear.

It was there that I was provided with the standard hospital gown, open at the back. I was also introduced to my “dignity pants”. These are made out of some kind of paper, very loose and with a trapdoor at the rear, for easy access.

Over all this I put on my dressing gown and slippers. Obviously I was the epitome of sartorial elegance. And so, suitably attired, I was collected and led down several long corridors. Up several floors to the theatre suite.

Why are the reception/changing areas always so far away from the treatment rooms ?

Anyway, on arrival, I was fitted with a cannular and had my obs recorded.

After a short wait I was loaded onto a trolley in preparation for entering the theatre. There was a further short delay as they cleaned the room, after the previous patient had been evicted.

Showtime !

I was wheeled into a small room packed with people and equipment. Well, three nurses, me, and eventually the doctor. Very snug.

I was asked to roll on my side and a muscle relaxant, sedative and pain suppressant were administered. Being on my side allowed me to watch the whole procedure. I viewed it on the same screen that the doctor was using.

As the camera traveled along my colon, I was thinking this is like Indiana Jones riding a mining cart along a tunnel. Laid out before me were the pink walls of my colon. I was impressed with how well I had cleaned up, thanks to the Picolax. As we trundled along in my cart, me riding shotgun with the doctor, we rounded a bend only to be confronted by …… what was that ? A rock fall, a cave in …. what ?

I spoke out loud, “Oh that doesn’t look good!”. Nobody responded to me, which was perhaps quite telling.

At this point the doctor started taking photos, biopsies and leaving markers (tattoos). And then the mining cart started the return journey and the procedure was over.

There was very little discomfort in fact my imagination blew everything out of proportion. I found being able to see what the doctor was seeing very interesting. I have since heard from friends and family that have experienced a colonoscopy. They all have no knowledge / memory of the procedure as they were all knocked out. I was told that I would be sedated and my records show that I had fentanyl. But, I didn’t experience any softening of mental focus. I am guessing that I was only given a minimal dosage.

I was wheeled out to the recovery room where I was given a cup of coffee and some biscuits. That was the best coffee ever ! Being my first proper drink since around midnight, twelve hours before. Just before I went to bed.

After a repeated series of obs, I was allowed to dress. The nurses and I then headed down to the discharge waiting room. But after more that half an hour nobody came to see me. So, I went off to find someone. A very helpful young lady in scrubs dispatched a nurse to find out where my doctor had gotten to.

It transpires that he was up to his elbows in another patient. I was transferred to another waiting area, with comfy seats. Being the only one in there, I should have realised that this was the bad news room. The doctor arrived, with back up.

The doctor was supported by one of the Bowel Cancer Screening nurses and a nurse from the Colorectal unit.

The doctor then proceeded to tell me what they had found and the next steps.

Firstly, he is pretty sure I have Colon Cancer. Confirmation will come from the biopsies they too during the procedure. Apparently they took eight samples. I was watching but didn’t count.

The “rock fall” was in fact the cancer / tumour / growth and it prevented the doctor from completing the procedure. The camera could not get past the growth so not all of the colon was examined.

The doctor seemed pretty positive. Given the position of the growth, it should be operable. I might get away with keyhole surgery. And, most importantly to me, I might not have to have a bag. However he went to great pains to stress that none of that is guaranteed.

To determine what is going on further upstream, I am scheduled for a CT Scan. I already have an appointment to see a consultant the following Tuesday.

By then he will have the biopsy and scan results and should be better placed to formulate a battle plan.

So, onward and upwards. Stay tuned …..

Poo Sticks – Updated


No, not the children’s game immortalised in the Winnie The Pooh stories.

I am referring to the game played by adults of a certain age. The NHS initiates this game. As part of their Bowel Screening Programme they send a package through the post requesting a sample of your poo. You then return it to them and they analyse it.

I’ve played this game with them for several years. Presumably, I was winning because I never heard back from them. No news is good news, right!

That continued until late last year when I was invited to a telephone consultation.

They had discovered some traces of “non visible blood.” The net of that hour long conversation was their decision to offer me a colonoscopy. I say offer because it was left open for me to decline the procedure.

What sort of cretin would I have to be to decline ?

You are 73 years old. Your body is wearing out. When the professionals are concerned enough to contact you, it’s only polite to accept.

And so an appointment was made for a colonoscopy and a package duly arrived in the post. Said package contained several pages of information about the procedure. It also included a blow by blow script for the preceding seven days and three sachets of Picolax.

It seems, understandably, that before a colonoscopy the medics like you to clear your tubes. So, for seven days I had to follow a “low residue/low fibre diet”. That is to say I had to cut out all foods containing fibres which are hard to digest. This helps reduce the amount of undigested food passing into my large bowel.

Adhering to this diet presents extra challenges when preparing meals. Those bad boy fibres are really sneaky, popping up when you least expect them. Also many of them are contained in favourite five a day fruits and vegetables.

For example you can eat potatoes but not the skins. You can eat pretty much any root vegetable, like carrot, swede, and turnip. Just make sure they are peeled and well cooked. They should be soft enough to mash. No peas, beans, citrus fruit or berries etc. and no seeds or grains. Even onions are a no-no. The list is endless.

Over the last few days I have become a nervous food prepper/eater. I was preparing some bell peppers for dinner only to find that they are not allowed. Similarly, on Sunday I was holding a glass of red wine when I decided to consult Dr. Google. Nope, red wine is not allowed, in fact turns out I should be avoiding alcohol in general.

Yes, you can make tasty meals acceptable for a low residue diet. However, they lack texture. They are also missing key ingredients to take the flavour to the max.

And so, here I am, having completed the low residue diet. Looking forward to my colonoscopy tomorrow. To be honest I am actually looking forward to eating real food tomorrow night. Just one more hurdle to cross, well two actually.

Hurdle number one is that today, 24 hours before my procedure, I am not allowed to eat anything. I can only consume clear liquids. These include water, squash, coke, lemonade, black tea/coffee, clear soup, marmite/bovril/oxo mixed into weak drinks with hot water. By this time tomorrow I will so hungry you may find me gnawing on a table leg

Hurdle number two, you may remember that earlier I mentioned Picolax. Picolax is a laxative and I have to consume three doses. The first was at 08:30 this morning. The next dose is scheduled for 12:30 and the last to be taken at 18:30.

Having read the instructions the only thing at the forefront of my mind is “Make sure you are close to a toilet”

Oh well, I suppose it’s all for the best.

Stay tuned.

Today, January 15th, was colonoscopy day.