Day: August 16, 2010

Swear words: Are you pro or con? Swear words are available, like all words, for use. They are there to be selected from the dictionary. But like all word usage isn't it all a matter of context, time and place.

At the grand old age of 58 I think I've heard it all and heard it it in all manner of situations.

As a Teenager :

I still remember the first time and the acute embarrassment, when I swore in front of my Mum. I was home for the weekend from my apprenticeship and she was making pastry. I casually slipped a "fuck" into the conversation just as if I was at work. It was an accident. Mum never mentioned it and I pretended it never happened although I did blush. I don't think I ever heard my Mum swear and I still blush, even now 40 odd years later and even though Mum has been dead for a number of years. Mum, I'm sorry.

As a Parent :

I told my daughters that I didn't want to hear them swearing in the house of around me and their mother. However, it was alright for them to use swear words in the house, in the context of a joke. Thing is they trusted me but always made sure that they had a large piece of furniture between them and their mum just in case Mum forgot the deal.

As a Fitter & Turner in Portsmouth Dockyard :

Swearing was part of everyday conversation. If you didn't swear you were considered "posh". Mind you, when you bashed your thumb with a 2lb hammer or ground your knuckles into the bulkhead, removing several layers of skin and other issues then swearing was mandatory. Amazing how several expletives uttered at high volume can relieve pain.

Another episode was on the top of a double decker bus heading home from work. My mate and I were discussing two girls sitting a couple of rows ahead of us. We thought they were gorgeous, until they opened their mouths. What came out was pure Glaswegian and littered with "f's" and "c's". The biggest turn off ever. Needless to say we didn't bother chatting them up.

As an Office Worker in an armaments depot :

There was little or no swearing as the occupants of the offices ranged in age from early twenties through to late fifties of both sexes. There was one of my seniors at that time who was so in control of his language it was impressive. He was known to all that knew him as Arthur "effin" Wren.

Arthur was a great bloke and he every other word was "fuck". Hence "effin". His self control was magnificent. If a female colleague entered the office the "effin" would stop. When we entered the cafeteria it would stop. Now Arthur was a model steam railway enthusiast. He used to make the steam locomotives from scratch. These were scale models, the sort that are big enough for adults to ride on. One day he invited several of us round to view his work shop at the back of his house. He was chatting away, liberally sprinkling the conversation with plenty of "effs". As he turned the key in the front door the "effs" stopped. We passed through the house and out the back door where upon the "effin" started up again. After the workshop viewing, on the return journey the same thing happened. Not a slip and even though his wife was not in the house at the time. Impressive.

As an Office Worker and a Home Worker :

I find the need for expletives has diminished considerably. Especially since most of my communication is via e-mail. Obviously occasionally I swear under my breath and even less frequently, out loud. Now I have to find a way to make my feelings felt, perhaps previously conveyed by the "F" word, but by using some of the many other words available in the English Language.

And finally as a Grandfather :

With all that wealth of experience in both the use of and being the recipient of just about al the anglo-saxon swear words you would think that I couldn't be shocked. Well certainly I though I couldn't. However, my 13 year old granddaughter shocked the pants of me when she broadcast on Facebook that she had broken her mobile phone by dropping it down the toilet. She then proceeded to use the "C" word to describe her actions.

So in summary I am for swear words when used in context although I am pretty much anti the "C" word at any time.

And Becky, should you ever read this…… yes I was writing about YOU.

So what’s more important, where you live or what you do for a living? Neither. Its you that's important and how you feel.

Its not important where you live. Some people think that the size or the house of the district you live in is a reflection of their persona. Well I say, aint that sad. After all its all just bricks and mortar.

Big question to my mind is are you comfortable, are you relaxed or are you constantly primping and making sure every blade of grass is just so ? Are you constantly concerned about what the neighbours think about you then get out of there.

If you aren't relaxed and happy in yourself then what's the point.

What you do for a living is a little more important but only from the perspective that you will spend many hours working and it helps if you are happy doing it.

My manager, at our annual review, constantly bugs me about career development. I keep having to remind him that I don't have a career. I am doing a job to earn the money to pay my mortgage. When the mortgage is paid off I won't need the job. What i don't tell him is that, after 30 years, I don't really like my job any more. But I do like the socialising with some of the guys in the office and some of the folks I deal with around the world. Otherwise I would have been gone a long time ago.

So bottom line, I guess I'm ever so slightly biased to what you do for a living as being the most important.

For me Blazzing Saddles is THE movie that springs to mind as my favourite funny movie whenever I'm asked. It was of its time and still makes me laugh out loud to this day. But it is dated which is to be expected for a 1974 release. Despite the vintage it was directed by the brilliant Mel Brooks and has some of the best lines of any film.

And what a cast…

Gene Wilder, Slim Pickens, Dom DeLuise and Mel Brooks himself in many guises as well as many many more well known artists, some of whom went un credited.

I also rate, very highly, the Marx Brothers movies and Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz but they are of a different era and a different humour.

So, I think, that defining a movie as the Funniest Ever is nigh on impossible. But I will stick with my first thoughts and that is that "Blazing Saddles" is the funniest movie.