My Resume

My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, But I got canned. I couldn’t concentrate.
Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe.
After that, I tried being a Tailor, but wasn’t suited for it — mainly because it was a sew-sew job.
Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting.
Then, I tried being a Chef–figured it would add a little spice to my life, but just didn’t have the thyme.
Next, I attempted being a Deli Worker, but any way I sliced it.. I couldn’t cut the mustard.
My best job was a Musician, but eventually found I wasn’t noteworthy.
I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but didn’t have any patience.
Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. I tried hard but just didn’t fit in.
I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered I couldn’t live on my net income.
Managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining.
So then I got a job in a Workout Center, but they said I wasn’t fit for the job.
After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a Historian – until I realized there was no future in it.
My last job was working in Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was the same old grind.
So, I tried Retirement and found …. I’M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!