Missing !!!

Yesterday was “binny” game day.

That’s the day the refuse collectors call to empty our wheelie bins. As is the case with all regions of the UK, there are rules to how this game is played.

Move the bin to the border of the property. One inch out of place, no collection
The lid of the bin has to be closed, no refuse on display. One degree of elevation and a single item of rubbish on display, no collection. Never mind that its ok for the “binnies” to consolidate and overfill the bins before taking them to the truck.
No bags of refuse out of the bin. A single sack or carrier bag alongside the bin, no collection.

Transgression brings various forms of retribution, from not having your bin emptied, thru to labels stuck on your bin and having notices posted through your letter box. Informing you that you have broken the rules. I have even been told off to my face for not having the handle facing the right way. Mustn’t cause the “binnies” any extra work …. “Duh !! Where’s the handle ?”

Anyway, to the point of all this.

My bin has gone missing.

It was there this morning and I saw the “binny” wheel it away as they usually do. However, a short while later the “binnies” were gone and so was my bin.

I went out and toured the neighbourhood to no avail. No sign of my cherished rubbish consuming buddy.

So I rang the council. No sympathy there. Oh no. Just the threat that if my bin doesn’t turn up and, if I want it replaced, they will charge me £27.00.

So, I abide by the rules, their operatives come along and misplace my wheelie bin and I will be charged to replace it.

The voice at the other end of the line reminded me that she was just repeating council policy. I must have been getting a little heated at the thought of the charge. Or, maybe, it was shock setting in at the loss of my little buddy.

She suggested that I wait a few days because my bin would probably turn up. Perhaps she was comparing my bin to a cat that would wander off but return when hungry.

So I am sitting her pining. Should anyone find a lone wheelie bin sat by the side of the road. Please point it my way.